Search Results: boyfriend needs to get a job

My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 3 years. I met him during undergrad. Throughout school, I was working part time jobs to help pay for bills whereas he had a luxury to work if he wanted pocket money. I bought him whatever he needed during that time and made him a priority always no matter what without fail whereas he treated me differently. He did spend money on me for gifts but not as significant effort as I put into it. After I graduated, I applied to graduate school since that’s required for my education. I can’t work while in graduate school though because they don’t allow it, but he has a salary job.

He knew my laptop wasn’t working well, so he took it upon himself to help me get a new one which I appreciated. I told him I wasn’t comfortable with the site he was getting it from. He didn’t listen, got it anyway, kept it for a week without making sure if it was working condition, made me drive a long way to him (we live 3 hours away), go home to see it was faulty. I had to return it myself without his help and my family who’ve been making ends met had to step up and get me the device.

I talked to my bf’s friend that works at an electronic store about tablets for school as well to see if there’s deals, and called my boyfriend to inform him I did so. During the call though, he kept saying that I “purposely” make him look bad and was using the victim card. He kept cutting me off and didn’t let me speak. I told him my chest hurts/hyperventilating since I was overwhelmed and he kept going on and on. I cried and that’s when he stopped and made me feel bad for crying, but apologized saying he was “joking.” Afterwards, he “fell asleep” and didn’t let me know beforehand when he was going to bed so I didn’t have to worry. i confronted him about it both but he apologized and doesn’t seem like he understands the magnitude of what he’s done. What should I do? What type of behavior is this? Why is he acting this way?

I created a dating profile 3 weeks ago to get some confidence since I was going through an insecure time, wasn’t really looking for anyone. Some men messaged me, but one guy stood out. He gave off this “I come as is” vibe which struck a cord with me for some reason so I exchanged socials with him to remain contact and deleted the app. Time continues and we’re talking every day, and things are going great.

He disclosed that he had to join the army right out of high school since he had gotten his then-girlfriend pregnant and now has a baby girl. He just started working a full time job and plans to go to a community college to earn his degree whereas I’m in graduate school with no kids. I understood him and we continued to grow from there. Then, the other night, I told him to visit me (we live 2 hours away from each other, and I requested that we meet in the middle so drive isn’t too bad).

He disclosed he didn’t have a paycheck from his job yet but would only need about $40 for gas. I paid for his gas, food, and toy for his dog while we hanged out the following day. He then asked me what particular app we met on since he had over 5 that has been used for over a month. He stated that girls would talk for a couple of days then leave, but I never left so he deleted them all (or he claims). He had a very neutral decision on sex like “if you want it, sure. If not, it’s fine.” But we ended up having sex anyway because I was very smitten with him at that time.

I asked if we were together as boyfriend/girlfriend since the first date went great and he said he likes me but not ready for that yet since he wants to know me more (even though I told him I’m an open-book) and wants to go on more dates. I agreed since I didn’t really have a choice and now after a day has passed, he isn’t really talking to me much and doesn’t seem interested anymore like leaving me on read. I’m not sure what to do because I spent over $100 on the date and was hoping he’d help pay some of that back.