Wtf do I do now please?

[Anonymous]

I don't know how many times I have asked this question now. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 years now, almost 5 next year and we live together. We have gone through many ups and downs like all couples but we have manged to get through them.

I don't work rn. I have an array of mental health problems which I am getting help for now but this has damaged my confidence and it affecting my life now. He works full time as a chef which if you guys are in the industry you know this is extremely stressful. I supported him when he wanted to change jobs and when his grandmother passed away. That's what couples do and I know this, I love him.

But when he wants to upgrade our computer £530 (about $622) instead of clearing up his debt yeah it annoys me. We are both are in debt which I now have taken care off through a debt help agency because it is so bad and he has refused to help even when he promised he would.

I know what this sounds like. I am extremely grateful that he pays for my phone bill, my meds, our food etc. I know how hard he works for us. But when he makes comments like "I expect you to wash my uniform and make food for me" ofc I get upset. I have no problem in doing these things, even when I was working full time I still did it. It is the way he talks to me and grabs and shouts at me that I have a problem with.

I have a problem that he can save up for a computer upgrade that we don't even need but can happily no clear his debt, save for us or buy me my engagement ring that he promised serval times. Making nasty comments on my body which has lead me to have an eating disorder and body dismorpah and then shouts at me about not eating.

I have spoken to him about this. We even got into an argument last night about this and igave up. I am here to do everything a wife is meant to do for a husband. I like that but I don't want to be yelled at and called stupid. He knows what I want in our future. He has depression *

(Please continue to read in the update bit)

Updates

1 y

* and I have low moods. I don't know what it is like but I honestly try so hard. I love him I really do. I haven't left yet because I love him that much. And even if I did leave I have no where to go. No money, no job, no savings, no family, no friends, nothing to sell of value anymore and I have loads of debt. Please help, I honestly don't know what to do anymore :(

[SamIam96]

Your relationship sounds toxic. I know you love him, but still... It isn't healthy.

You need options. Right now, you don't have any. Can you get a job? Earning a little money will give you freedom. It will also give you a healthy distraction. Think about if this relationship is really what you want for the rest of your life. Whatever the answer, you will have a goal to work towards.

It stinks that he's wasting money on unneeded luxuries instead of debits. Your frustration is understandable. But, you have more important things to focus on. Try to let that go. You've made your point with him. It doesn't sound like he's listening.

You said that you're getting help. Ask about resources for women in abusive relationships. Sadly, you're not the first to have had these problems. You may be able to get help starting fresh.

Good luck

[Asker]

Thank you so much for this :)

[FilmGuy93]

Relationships like your's always make me wonder how people end up together. It's pretty obvious what you need to do; move out. Go back to your mom and dad's for awhile, so you can sort your relationship out with him.

[Asker]

Thank you¡

[es20490446e]

Just keep going to therapy, and you eventually will figure it out.

I will narrow it down for you: for good or bad, what other people do is their problem. The question is what you do about it yourself.

[Asker]

Thank you!

[es20490446e]

Good luck.