Male answers please, I don't want to hurt him, I don't know know what to do? (Girls can answer too, but I'd like to know what men think)?

[Anonymous]

There's this guy, we met years ago but really started talking more around two months ago.

He's sweet, a gentleman, funny, nothing wrong with him. But I'm not sure I like him the way he likes me, at least not yet, and I don't think I really want this rn.

We weren't in a romantic plan or nothing, I didn't even find him attractive back then. I was going through something difficult in my life, and one day I asked him to go out just for fun, as classmates, and we had fun. He kissed me on the cheek that day, and I didn't know how to react, so I said nothing, we were drinking so I thought maybe he was just drunk.

Anyway, I don't even know how we got to the point we are now, like, it's really a whole kinda blank and confusing memory, this time passed incredibly fast and I'm confused af. One day we just started going out, talking more, etc, and now I'm like: wtf is all this?

It's my fault too because I accepted him being sweet to me, his kisses/hugs, sitting on his lap, holding hands and stuff like that, I got into the romantic plan too being sweet to him. But I was wrong, it went too fast.

I know I'm starting to like him, but I just don't feel it's the right time. He gave me a gift some days ago, he's being special, and I don't want to hurt him and maybe make him feel used, or I don't know. This could work someday, just not now. What should I do?

Updates

1 y

(In the part when I said it's my fault too, I made a mistake, it's not his fault. I cannot edit the question)

[YourFavoriteFriend]

I also had a "I'm not ready right now, maybe in the future" moment with the last girl I liked and it didn't went out well. Please have dignity and be honest to him! Even tho I'm not a fan of it after my experience, If you think that you start to like him, then think deep down and give a specific period for him to wait till you could give him a straight yes or no. He may not wait but you'll know that you were honest and you didn't hurt anyone and he won't hate you after wards and possibly spread rumors about you. Good luck!

[Summeroflove]

You need to talk to him and tell him either you want to slow things down or if you’re done with it. That you don’t feel it’s meant to be.

Don’t string him along if you’re not wanting a relationship with him. If you’re staring to like him maybe slow down. If you’re done with it. Then end things.

[Anonymous]

I’d say to tell him how you’re feeling. If this is a thing to where you want to continue on but a much slower pace, then that gives him the chance to decide if he wants the same thing. It’s only fair to give him that. However if you want to step away completely then let him know. There’s nothing to do about what’s already done, that’s time you can’t get or give back. But at least you’re willing to take ownership of your decisions and all you can do is try to make better ones going forward.

[Guy13]

tell the guy today if you have not. Don't take all his self-respect and ability to trust in women again...

[YourFavoriteFriend]

Thank you!!

[Guy13]

@YourFavoriteFriend 👍👍

[BarryLiverstone]

Be honest. Tell him you have some feelings for him but you are working on some personal issues rn and would like to slow down the romantic side of your relationship. Let him know he’s done nothing wrong and ask for a month or two to work on yourself. Then ask if this will work for him and if he can wait for you. You are starting to like him so no need to split.


Make sense?

[Anonymous]

Imagine the roles were reversed. He let you kiss him, he assumed it's because you were a little drunk. But he kept agreeing to go out with you etc. Do you think that he could reject you without hurting you after this amount of time? If you're truly friends you're giving him too little credit. If not, you're really not "friends" and you kind of really only have yourself to blame by not realizing this.

[whiskeyontherocks]

I was you with a girl that liked me.
I really wish I would have tried.
You’ll regret it either way but at least you would know you tried
My vote is be honest say to him “we can try but I don’t feel ready”
“No gifts no expectations” have clear boundaries.

[slatyb]

You tell him what you just told us. "Sorry. You are very nice, but I'm not ready for a serious relationship."

[boggboss]

So tell him the longer u wait the more u lead him on

[hafinjun]

It's absolutely your responsibility to fix it now, and I know you know what's needed

[In_Trance]

move on