Why Are Self-Proclaimed Dominant Men Such A Disappointment?

Question

Author's Opinion:  💭 "Honestly, every self-proclaimed 'dominant' male that I've befriended and gotten extremely close to (talking on the phone, video chatting, hanging out in person, etc), has been nothing more than a disappointment. They claim to want to be "just friends" and as soon as they get close then they start trying to take advantage of my submissive side. My submissive side is buried deep just for that reason. It does nothing but make me weak and easier to control by alpha/dominant males. My desperate need to please everyone around me, makes me more susceptible to getting hurt.  In my experience, dominant males don't respect the boundaries of a friendship with a female and always try to become something more. They want to dominate the friendship and then try to control me and everything I do. Then when that backfires, the friendship inevitably dissolves.  Then guess who is left to pick up the pieces and stuck with trying to undo whatever "training" and "grooming" they felt was necessary to give me?  The answer is me.  So "IF" you're an alpha male with a hidden agenda or cruel intentions... LEAVE ME THE F*CK ALONE... I'm not a toy " 🧸

dynamicyandere · Accepted Answer

I’m a dominant with a female friend who’s a submissive and we’ve had a wholesome platonic friendship over the last 7 years. We’ve kept in touch and have had lots of talks. We’re both taken and she’s happy for me and I’m happy for her.

The thing is that I view her as a friend first, and a submissive second. I’d still be friends with her whether or not she was a submissive. I don’t have an agenda with her because genuine friendships don’t have agendas.

You’ve probably run into a lot of bad men because so many men call themselves a dominant just to try attracting women—using it as an attractive label to draw girls in, using that label not as a genuine expression of identity, but as a seduction tactic. If seduction is their reason for wearing that label, then from the very start, any friendship they start is likely going to be disingenuous, because they want something out of you from the start.

Meanwhile, genuine friendships are altruistic and can be formed without requiring either person to be a dominant or submissive. Genuine friendships aren’t manipulative—they’re supportive.

It’s difficult already finding a M/F friendship without ulterior motives, let alone a D/s & M/F friendship.

Dargil · Accepted Answer

Those of us who actually dominate do it by our conduct. I dominate her by changing her tire in a cold, driving rain storm at night. And I dominate her by giving her a session of dish rattling oral sex. Real dominant men do it and she doesn't even notice. You don't have to proclaim anything. You just do it.

Red-Blaze · Accepted Answer

It may be only me but I think its some what a dispration, its pepole that got into it without really understanding the entire thing at all and doing what they think they shuld without really understanding it at all

I try all type of stuff and had all type of pepole to try it with (Mostly virtual) and a lot of them when it got down to it reeeeally did not understand what they said there where into, and it really hurts everytime to find out it was in the end a waste of time

I think there shuld be some way to test someone to see if they know what this type of realshinship is and what its not so they them self can better define them self and seekers be able to more easily find who they sick and not a miaguided image of it

aialex · Accepted Answer

Self-proclaimed itself is a red flag. For example, self-proclaimed nice guy, self-proclaimed expert, self-proclaimed [insert whatever possible]. Just be prepared to get disappointed

crossdressingrihno · Answer

Those aren't dominant men those are just assholes. Don't know how you're getting a bunch of assholes but they ain't the only men out there. I'm not saying that's what you're saying I'm just saying don't give up on Hope though good on you for playing it safe.

krin_m · Answer

In any relationship (Even in a D/s relationship) early consent is essential. So is the physical and emotional safety.
Men who do not understand it are not true Dominant men.
Being a Dominant means there is tremendous responsibility for the submissive's wellness. Comes with the territory. People who do not understand it are just plain abusive people.

Deepinthought345 · Answer

The problem with most "Dominant" men is they don't know what to control or when to control. There is an arc. One has to establish domination and know the difference between controlling, possessive and dominating. Most men don't know the difference between them.

24jack · Answer

Hi
Don't try to pick up whatever is left of the relationship. at least what I'm able to find out is that you are a self confident sexy woman. That will not change whatever your relationships are. I hope you reaoize you being submissive doesn't mean you should follow all of their commands

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

Well let's be honest look at you if you was a guy wouldn't you want something more and all men that are dominant won't be a disappointment disappointment cause I'm pretty sure I'm not a disappointment but your guard is up so high you won't even allow a friendship to come about

pastuser · Answer

self proclaimed dominant men are just fake assholes
don't change yourself for anyman.

all you should care about secrect is making yourself happy

i never treated you as a toy i think of you as a online friend not all men are the same just most are

Losalt · Answer

May I reply? I wrote a rather long reply but I don't want to impose if you don't want me to, so I've cut it out and wrote this instead. I'll paste it into the replies afterwards if you want.

naraku · Answer

If you have to give yourself a proclamation then that should tell you enough about that person. Maybe they hope it's a selling point or maybe it's an attempt to cover up other points of weakness or failures, so they dominate in the bedroom? Fuck knows...

Adronicus · Answer

Dominant men show themselves through their actions & not their words. If they feel the need to talk about that all the time they're projecting their weakness in reality. Overcompensating.

driven159 · Answer

many people men and women are then Wanta bees they think because they say it then it must be they have no clue of the years of learning and training that goes into it and how most of it is mental physical is only 10% being Dominant in not a license to abuse it's a way of life 24/7 almost as deep and intense and pure anything different is not it

RavVid · Answer

Hmmh. I once had a girl throw herself into my arms saying "Protect Meeee!".

From whom I asked?

"From Youuuu!" she replied.

Clever girl. She hit my protect button and molest button at the same time as hard as she could. Which was delightfully hard I might add.

I'm a sucker for ultra femmes so I know were you are coming from.

Waldoe · Answer

Nothing makes me happier than making "her" smile... some call guys like me "simps" I couldn't care less... Her smile "Lights up" my entire life... when she is unhappy, I want to FIX it... I am a "guy"

lancecantee · Answer

The modern "Alpha male" is just a self ascribed title for being "manly" but really just giving themselves entitlement issues and being assholes, or as I call them "alpha sigma sigmas".

Likes2drive · Answer

Have no idea, I’m not an alpha, I’m more like the friend type that gets taken advantage of, I can be dominant in bed but not extreme. Some guys just like to see how far they can go I guess

SharonH4272 · Answer

Because they simply believe they are all that and a bag of chips, I have to say it goes for some women too! LOL

Neilbud · Answer

I think you know this already, but everything about these guys as you describe them is a red flag that screams run.

madetostroke · Answer

hun?  you girls like to be fucked and used like whores thats what you girls want  look if you women wanted something else  you would look for it

Xrynx · Answer

Its a fake sense of a enflated ego to bring themselves attention, though in reality they are not actually like that.

Blaine999 · Answer

Sadly this describes the majority of guys today; self-diagnosing themselves as macho and dominant. They're anything but and honestly it's pretty pathetic.

hafinjun · Answer

I hear youin my life I've been owned by 3women, I have yet to find a dominant male that relates to me. Seems like it's always got to go a bridge to far

Massageman · Answer

I am sure that for many of these so-called "alphas", it is simply a facade to hide their actual imperfections and shortcomings.

Sixgunsound · Answer

Good on you putting this out here!

Ringstretch · Answer

Men like to think they are in control but truth be known most have a submissive nature

Xtendable · Answer

I’m sorry if I have ever done that to you…

Rahul8124 · Answer

Because they are self proclaimed dominant man not real man also you are back from vacation 👍

Why Are Self-Proclaimed Dominant Men Such A Disappointment?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Why self made successful men are arrogant?

Why Are Self-Proclaimed Dominant Men Such A Disappointment?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Why self made successful men are arrogant?

We're glad to see you liked this post.