About 5 or 6 years ago I fell for my boss. I was 18 or 19 at the time and he was about 15 years older than me. I’m not sure if I love him or anything but I do have some feelings towards him. We didn’t do anything until we both left that company and we were together for about a year and half before we broke up.
If I could’ve, I probably would’ve been with him seriously but because of the circumstances, we were never serious boyfriend/girlfriend and I wanted a serious boyfriend so that was really why we split.
So fast forward, 2years ago we reconnected after both our relationships ended, and initially I just needed a job (Due to the pandemic) and I just wanted to be friends so I went to work for him again, but after a few months we were hooking up again.
Well in the very beginning he kind of hurt me and I stopped talking to him for 2 months but then we eventually got back together and things did improve but I’ve realized over the last year that I struggle with opening up to him and sharing feelings with him. In a way, I just don’t feel connected with him the way I used to. In the past, he was very thoughtful and caring and he actually kissed me. Now, he never kisses me, and even though he’s still kind, it’s just not the same. Aside from our hangouts and the sex, I can’t tell if he likes me the way he once did. And since I don’t feel like I can’t be vulnerable with him, I don’t know how to talk about it.
Part of me thinks it’s because of how he hurt me in the beginning, I just feel like I’ve had my guard up so I haven’t gotten closer to him like I want to and part of me also thinks he just doesn’t feel for me the way he once did.
So now I’m preparing myself for this to end, but Im conflicted. I really feel like I’ve found a family and a home here but I’m just tired of being confused about him and getting over him while working for him is going to be really hard, he’s basically my Achilles Heel. So I’m not sure what’s best to do here. Do I stay or do I go?
If I could’ve, I probably would’ve been with him seriously but because of the circumstances, we were never serious boyfriend/girlfriend and I wanted a serious boyfriend so that was really why we split.
So fast forward, 2years ago we reconnected after both our relationships ended, and initially I just needed a job (Due to the pandemic) and I just wanted to be friends so I went to work for him again, but after a few months we were hooking up again.
Well in the very beginning he kind of hurt me and I stopped talking to him for 2 months but then we eventually got back together and things did improve but I’ve realized over the last year that I struggle with opening up to him and sharing feelings with him. In a way, I just don’t feel connected with him the way I used to. In the past, he was very thoughtful and caring and he actually kissed me. Now, he never kisses me, and even though he’s still kind, it’s just not the same. Aside from our hangouts and the sex, I can’t tell if he likes me the way he once did. And since I don’t feel like I can’t be vulnerable with him, I don’t know how to talk about it.
Part of me thinks it’s because of how he hurt me in the beginning, I just feel like I’ve had my guard up so I haven’t gotten closer to him like I want to and part of me also thinks he just doesn’t feel for me the way he once did.
So now I’m preparing myself for this to end, but Im conflicted. I really feel like I’ve found a family and a home here but I’m just tired of being confused about him and getting over him while working for him is going to be really hard, he’s basically my Achilles Heel. So I’m not sure what’s best to do here. Do I stay or do I go?
