My parents are making me pay rent am I being unreasonable?

[Anonymous]

My parents are making me pay rent. I am 22 years old and i am looking for a part time job ( I'm in the process of getting a job at publix) they told me i have 30 days ASAP. because I am doing school online and I am in debt. I also take care of my moms mom and my dad's mom like i give them there meds and make sure they eat. Also since I had my first job and before that I have always had chores to clean the house like wash dishes and more while they work come home and dont help and if i dont do that then i get yelled at. I don't talk back to them about everything because it doesn't go well. I feel like if I did I'd either get yelled at, hit or kicked out. Maybe all 3. I am also a Christian so i also go by honor thy mother and thy father. I also clean the kitchen, do laundry ( like my clothes and sometimes everyone elses). I am still learning how to drive. This isn't the first time they have told me I need to start paying rent. This isn't the first time they talked about telling me to leave home. They also told me that I need to save my money a few weeks ago to work on moving out so I'm confused. I just talked my boyfriend about this and he asked me do I just want to come live with him. He is teaching me how to drive also.

[Anonymous]

Well you could say to your parents "since I'm basically being a nanny for grandma. How about you start paying me for my services as a nanny. And then in turn I'll turn around and pay you rent".🤣 I'm just kidding don't do that. I think it's great that you're a Christian. It's great you show your parents respect. But respect is also a two way street. Then can't pick and choose when you're still a child and when you're an adult. This is a sensitive issue for everyone. Because you parents will ALWAYS care about you and unfortunately always have that parenting instinct. The problem is at some point they have to relinquish that control. I wish I had a definite answer for you. But the answer to this has to be tailored to you. If you go live with your boyfriend (and I'm not suggesting you should). Your parents I'm just guessing will be against that. And only you know whether that's right for you. Personally I think you need to have a sit down with your parents and say look I'm 22. I'm not saying I've got it all figured out. But you need to approach me like an adult. Tell me what your expectations are and I'll do my best accommodate them. At the same point as an adult I need my respect and autonomy.

Most people leave home to end this parental control. But not everyone is the same. I lived at home all through college and my parents didn't have a problem with it. They just had 2 rules. Either 1. Being going to school full time. Or 2. Have a full time job. Most parents just want to KNOW that you can stand on your own two feet. As they won't always be around to protect you.

[DryGermanGuy]

Get out of there as soon as possible, either to your boyfriend or maybe to one of your grandparents. Your parents sound toxic and ungrateful. Using your own children as a meal-ticket is such an American thing. :-(

[Asker]

My grandmothers live with me. I take care of them.

[Dinklex3]

I think it's a realistic expectation to have someone pay rent regardless of how many chores they have.

If you feel like living with your boyfriend will be easier on you then do that instead.

[EnglishEuropean]

Hell no but what can you do? You're an adult so they can throw you out. Can you rent privately or move in with your boyfriend? Maybe buy a tent? Tent cities are real popular in Joe Biden's America.

Tent City: Coming to an area near you.

[EnglishEuropean]

Move in with your boyfriend. At your age it's far from ideal to be living with your parents. Your parents will be happy to look after your granny.

[hyperben]

if you earn something, you pay something, maybe not much but a little contribution. take it as a life lesson and learn what you can from it.

[Asker]

Literally life and work

[hyperben]

dont worry, it gets gradually worse! the more you earn, the more the world dips into your pot

[Asker]

I mean I know that

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

You are doing the best you can but it seems like your parents are forcing too much on you

[joeldalton]

Emphasis on “parent’s house” and “I’m 22”. No they aren’t.

[Asker]

But I literally take care if they parents, clean the house even when I was working a full time job (12 hours or more). I'm also in school. I see your point because that's literally adulthood but like I'm literally in debt try to get money to pay off everything and they asking me to pay money to stay here. They were just telling me to save my money to get a house and move out.

[Guy13]

No you should pay

[Asker]

Why should I?

[Guy13]

You are over 18 and living at home. You should pay for 1/3 food and utilities too. You are 21 years old. At 18 you can drink, serve country, AND Pay Rent...

[Asker]

I also get paid once a month 250 and another 300 from my aunt. To me it seems like I'm trying to save but they taking it away. I just got back from out of town and it seems like they never want me to relax or have a day to myself. They say thank you but it's rarely now. They were just talking about not evening letting me go with my boyfriend family ( who invited me to Panama last week). I've only been gone for 4 days. They don't really offer to help out. I've literally been asked to wash all the dishes in the house last time we moved. I don't understand why they acting this way. I also sometimes feel like they treat me differently like they don't want me as child. I know I'm 22 but I literally working on things like college, driving. Even when I've done all my college work and cleaned up its never enough. I feel like I can never live up to they expectations

[Asker]

I literally pay for my own food, do my own laundry, buy my own clothes.

[Asker]

I'm 22

[Guy13]

You could be making 600 week at the Bojangles. I would put you out although I would give you 1 month to get your money together. I know people at 19 who renting with a roommate. It is past time for you to grow up.

[Asker]

There's other jobs that pay more. I'm in the process of getting a job with publix but it's part time so I can take care of there parents. I have other things to deal with like paying off debts for my credit card which they use and school debt.

[Asker]

I've stayed in aparemts before and my parents know that I do not want a apartment. Last time they told me to help pay was when we were in a apartment and my uncle came to stay with us.

[Guy13]

Great start but Publix pays less than 15.00-17.00 per hour like Bojangles... unless they have changed. I have a friend who was a baker at Publix for 6 months at 13.00 per hour.

[Asker]

Don't forget I'm in college also and take care of 2 seniors and clean house. I did a 12 hour job maybe longer for 10 months who paid 16 a hour but we moved and they kept changing there policies.

[Guy13]

Go to university housing and see if you can find someone seeking a roommate near university or a sublease option. I'm just talking out loud...

[Asker]

My boyfriend said he would talk to his parents about it. I mean with my job at publix I can transfer and still do work. I'm honestly trying to save anyway. Literally do everything they say so it's not like I'm disobeying

[Guy13]

Well, Christians also have to look out for themselves and their souls too. You basically are a cheap CNA to elders. Living with boyfriend and Christianity conflict?

[Asker]

I'm not living with him.

[Guy13]

I thought you were moving in with him? I am sure you will figure it out. You seem very sincere and sweet. Your boyfriend is fortunate to have you in his life !!

[Asker]

I am. We been talking about this for a long time. He still lives with his family which I do not mind because they all love me. Thank you. He will talk to them about it. My parents are giving me 30 days. To get a job but I still have to pay rent. I'm waiting for a call from publix this week if they don't call I will call them

[Guy13]

I hope everything works out as you have hoped for. :-)

[Asker]

Thank you

[Asker]

What do you think I should do

[Guy13]

Pray on it... Say Lord's Prayer and then pour your heart out to God. Seek Him regularly in prayer...

[Asker]

Thanks

[Shamalien]

what courses u taking

[Asker]

I'm studying to be a dietitian, right now I'm taking global history and Africana studies. I normally do them the day they announce them

[Shamalien]

Hmm well if ur in school it would be nice if they supported u but u are 22 so…

[Asker]

So just because you in your early 22s means that your parents can't support you or help you

[Shamalien]

They can but it shouldn’t be expected

[Shamalien]

I started paying rent day I turned 18

[Asker]

Did you have a job and took care of other people

[Shamalien]

I had a job I didn’t take care of anyone

[Asker]

It's different for me

[Marshymallow]

Sounds Troll

[Asker]

Explain your reasoning