Search Results: good intentions

I'm constantly working on my communication skills and trying to present myself in the best light but getting a woman to meet up for a date often feels futile especially on dating apps. It's hard to form a connection with someone via words on a screen and calling within the first few messages feels too forward. Getting a date feels like it shouldn't be this difficult so I'm taking an indefinite break to save my self-esteem.

I know that persistence coming from a man trying to date a woman is almost never a good idea. This is for scenarios where women initially feel so so about the guy. Scenarios where they hand out their number and maybe go on a one time date.

If the persistent guy is “nice” and not too repulsive looking (but not handsome either) women will friéndzone 9 out 10 times. They like the attention and want to use him as a resource so they make him into an orbiter. They know they have emotional leverage on him and he will more likely do her plenty of one way favors via her advantage. She can use him for all sorts of things.

However if he’s an unattractive or gives off any impression of being creepy (unintentional or not) then persistence is now sexual harassment and stalking. He can act the exact same way the semi attractive guy does but it doesn’t matter. It also doesn’t matter if she never told him to stop and he has no idea how she really feels about him. It’s ugly all the way around. But this usually ends abruptly since she will usually block and/or avoid him.

Anyway there is only one time in my entire life where my initial persistence paid off. It was on of my former gfs from 7 years ago. Our first date was weird and she was defensive/bitchy. But I did a kind gesture for her later with no intention of being paid back. The next day she sent me a text message with a chicken wing saying “she was going to throw me a bone”. We went on a second date and she was much nicer. We ended up dating for 9 months.

But I feel that was a very rare exception. Not the rule. The vast majority of women nowadays see persistence as desperation and insecurity. They will either get grossed out by it or if the guy is non-threatening they will exploit for their own ends.