In a tough spot, is dating a guy I used to talk to brother bad in this context?

[Anonymous]

it sounds bad but here’s the story. Back to last year I met a guy we will call him Tom who was about 3/4 years older than me and we started talking to each other it was short I’d say maybe a month and we kissed once on our date he wanted to take it further and do more than that but I didn’t want to get intimate with him too soon. Anyways towards the end he wanted to invite me over but I knew his intention was to hook up so I told him let’s keep dating and we will see where we go down the line since we had only had one date. During the date I had asked Tom when his last relationship was and he lied and said it was years ago and he didn’t consider her a girlfriend. When I said I didn’t want to come over Tom then texted his ex to try and get her to come over and hook up with him and his ex was aware of me and him talking (apparently he started talking to me a couple days after they broke up which I did not know, I don’t wanna be a rebound girl). She texted me and told me so I stopped talking to him that day. Since then he’s been dating other girls you know moved on I think he’s with someone officially now but that’s not the point. Anyways now a whole year later, I got on a dating app and came across a guy (Bob), bobs pretty cool and it’s going great he’s my age, but he started talking about his pet cat and he said the cats name and then I thought that sounds so familiar. So I went on his social media and saw 🤦🏻‍♀️ Tim is bobs older brother. Bob does not know I used to talk to his brother but it’s so soon I don’t want to say anything because technically I had to dig for that information and I don’t know what to do lol. Obviously that’s something that’s gonna have to come up sooner than later but I don’t want to be bogus and ghost him either. He’s a good guy, but I did kiss his brother. I don’t know if I should just tell him sorry it’s not going to workout and just stop talking to him. Me and Bob haven’t been on a date yet so I guess I should call it quits now right?

[Guy13]

If you slept with him then it is bad. If you sucked his dick it is bad. Otherwise, who cares...

[Asker]

That’s what I was thinking, I mean his brother wanted it to happen but it didn’t so I’m just kind of like 🤷🏻‍♀️

[magiusX26]

this is a time where "it was only a kiss" applies. i dont think you should leave "bob" because of that lite bad past with his brother over a kiss. now if anything further occured then its a different situation. leaving him over thisn though we know your reason/s, comes across as punishing "bob" for "tom's" sin/s.

[Asker]

That’s what I was thinking too like he has to pay for his brothers sins and it’s like nothing really serious happened between me and his brother. I have no feelings whatsoever for his brother, I guess I’ll just see where it goes and if he ever brings up family and stuff when the time comes I should tell him and if he feels uncomfortable then we can end it

[magiusX26]

ypu should give him a heads up soon though. he has a right to informed consent.

[Asker]

I know I’m going to casually ask about family and if he brings up his brother I’ll tell him about it, we’re still new to talking maybe two weeks in so I don’t want him to know I researched him

[magiusX26]

this day and age, not researching should be the red flag, for everybody

[magiusX26]

hell i have done it the 1st day of ralking/matching and am up front about doing it. so far none, that i know of have been offended in the least. started with my 1st online (begginings) relationship, her idea 1st. she was worried about letting me know like you are this guy, and was blown away that not only was i not upset about it but very happy in her being proactive with her own safety.