Search Results: okay to say no

So my bf’s been in a bad mood for a while now, he gets pissed at the little things that I do. I’ve been giving him space and distancing myself from him, I don’t bother him anymore other than just to have a quick chat sending funny videos, I don’t talk about my problems with him bcs he has a lot to deal with already, I even keep quiet and learned to take the punches he throws at me (not literally, emotional punches) and brush it off as him having an off day.

Earlier he got annoyed because I asked him a question about how his day was and he said that I’m being insensitive and annoying. I said “it was just a question, no need to be aggressive please”. Then he went to work, he then sent me a bunch of texts consisting of long paragraphs detailing my mistakes.

He does this a lot and usually I would respond with me explaining myself and how he took my actions the wrong way, I also always apologize and promise to do better. But then he would blow up and start an argument, he would also say “let’s drop this” and I’d say “okay let’s” but then he would proceed with prolonging the argument all over again… I know his pattern and I’m not gonna play along with it anymore so I simply said “Okay, I understand” and left it at that.

He then texted me back saying that he doesn’t believe me and that he needs reassurance that I won’t annoy him again. I just said “Trust me, I understand what you’re saying, I hear you”. Then he said “k.” I know he’s pissed when he responds with that. But I didn’t bother responding after that.

Did I do the right thing or was I being rude? I just don’t want him to weaponize my words to start another argument so I kept it simple and straightforward. Plus he already painted me as the bad guy anyway…

A guy I was casual with started acting differently for the last couple of days I was with him - he put less emphasis on sex, and wanted to take long walks, talk, wach a movie together, cuddle... We also talked about our values, ideal partner and vision of the future, and we're really compatible. I would take this as him liking me.

BUT, this was the first time I experienced "slow love /like". So despite showing clear signs of liking him, I was so focused on not being in love that I thought I had no romantic interest in him, and told him that. When I came back home, he ghosted.

I asked if everything was okay, still no reply, but he kept tabs on me by viewing my every story and status. I decided to remove him from my socials and delete his number. But it felt wrong doing it without saying goodbye, so just before deleting his no., I messaged to say goodbe, also called him out on ghosting and immaturity (worded in non-accusatory manner), and mentioned I liked him. Suddenly he replied with a smiley, said he was ohw home, and that he would get back to me later. But... he ghosted again.

Today I was talking with a guy friend who was sure he liked me, and we realized this might have pushed him away: (note he's 25, and I'm in my early 30s)

while we were talking about our visions of the future and the right partner, I mentioned I don't want to wait anymore. I meant I want to find the right person soon, and not settle down (I have things to take care of before that, which will take some years). But it might have come off as the latter given the context

Now this is bugging me, and I really want to say something (maybe a couple of weeks from now). But I don't know if he would still ask about it or ghost (see below)

What would you do in his place?

1. Would you still ask me about it after I told you I liked you, despite thinking I was ready to settle down? So to clear the confusion

2. Would you rather ghost to spare your own feelings because you were sure I was ready to settle down?