Why would a guy flirt (call you beautiful…wants to makeout) then backtrack and say he got carried away and wants to be friends?

[Anonymous]

He did what I said he did in the question. I said I was interested he said he was in no rush but I had him wondering how to make it happen in the future. I said if it’s in the future we will figure it out later. Another day…. he also said right before he went to sleep one night, he had a vision that he was with me and happy. Another day he said he didn’t know whether to invite me to church or to his place. I said maybe one day I could do both. He said right now we are just talking. I said I know that. That’s why I said that. He invited me to church later…(the day hasn’t passed yet. It’s the 26th.) He said two goals he is constantly working towards are a better job and he wants to find a long term girlfriend. He said at the least, he wants to be friends with me. He said I was a cutie over a hottie and that was perfectly okay. I’m so confused and I don’t have much experience. I wasn’t pressuring him at all. I get that he wants to take his time. I do too. He flirts and says he wants a long term girlfriend, but then says at the least, he wants to be friends with me. What does that mean? At the least? Why could he have done that? In my mind, it makes me think he isn’t interested. What was the purpose of him backing away when I was saying I’m interested? Help please!

[Anonymous]

It sounds like this guy may be sending mixed signals, and it's understandable that you're feeling confused. There could be a few reasons for his behavior:

1. He might genuinely be unsure about his feelings and intentions. People can have moments of strong attraction or interest but then have doubts about pursuing a relationship, leading to mixed messages.

2. He could be afraid of commitment or moving too fast. Expressing a desire for a long-term relationship might have made him feel pressured, causing him to backtrack to avoid feeling overwhelmed.

3. He might value your friendship and want to establish a connection with you first. By saying he wants to be friends at the least, he might be trying to ensure that the foundation of your relationship is built on friendship.

4. Personal circumstances or past experiences might be affecting his decision-making. He could have concerns or fears related to relationships that are influencing his behavior.

It's essential to have an open and honest conversation with him to better understand his intentions and clarify your own. Communication can help both of you align your expectations and decide how you want to proceed, whether as friends or potentially something more. Keep in mind that it's okay for both of you to take your time in figuring this out.

[Asker]

Thank you!

[NavyOU37]

I mean this with all due respect. Women want the same top 5 percent of men. The numbers are not in your favor. Example: if 10 women want the same guy, that won’t work. The guy has so many women to choose from, he commits to no one and plays all 10.

[Altheavas]

Anyone who still give in when sweet talk, still has some growing up to do.

[Anonymous]

He's a flake. I'd wait for him to get really hot again and the I'd tell him "I just want to be friends" and then drop him flat. Because that's what he's earned.