He asked me to tell him that I loved him after a month of dating. What do you think of this?

[Anonymous]

I met this guy online and we have been dating for about a month. Things are going really well. Though it's early to say, I feel that a real future could happen with him. He is dating for marriage and I am dating for a serious relationship. I told him marriage isn't on the table this early on for me with anyone. About 1-2 weeks after knowing him he said he felt he was falling for me and I told him I wasn't ready to speak on that even though I started to feel that way. I'd hate to be lovebombed, but right now it doesn't appear that way. It may be too early to tell. Anyway, a couple nights ago we were on a date bowling and he'd give me a hug or kiss after I my turns. Close to the time end of the night before the place closed, he pulls me in and he says, "okay tell you love me." So I did. I have had that feeling for about 2 weeks now. It's so early, I know, but it felt right. After telling him his mouth dropped and I said playfully, "now you have you to tell me... no don't tell me, Im joking." And I looked away. He was silent for a second and then he say "No, I love you. You meant what you said right?" I told him yes, and he replied, "And I meant what I said, I love you. It's a feeling I've had." Then we continued to bowl.

Later on that night after our date, he texted me, "I still love you."

I really do care for him and the chemistry we have for each other is out of this world. I'm a firm believer is speaking my truth regardless of reciprocation. I can see myself being there for him for a while and he's said the same thing. He seems like a good man. Only time will tell, because actions speak louder than words, but I just wanted some other input about this.

P. S we have agreed to exclusively date in a monogamous relationship

[TomMarks]

Even after reading the story my mind won’t let go of the part where he told you to tell him you loved him. Every girl that has ever told me that, it wasn’t cause I told her to say it, or even hinted she should. It was something that they said from their heart in the right time. How can a guy just assume to tell you what you should feel?

[Asker]

Yeah that’s always stuck with me. I only said it because I honestly do love him and it felt right. However I do wish I said it on my own terms. It was a cute moment but I envisioned it to be different timing

[TomMarks]

I’m glad that at least you didn’t have to lie when you said it. I hope he has not asked anything that wasn’t consensual.

[Natesadoggole1]

Red flags. He is controlling, and eventually his need for control will escalate.

It's been only 4 weeks or a little more, you two don't love one another.. you two barely know one another.

He doesn't love you. That is desperation.

He doesn't love you, he's trying to control and rush things along... for some reason. (Perhaps he wants to make someone jealous enough to come back to him )

1 to 2 weeks and he's telling a stranger all these things. Sounds gameish and perhaps he's telling you what he thinks you want to hear to get what he wants.

You don't love him either. That's just a rush of emotions and newness. You perhaps haven't heard that in awhile or been given attention like he provides in awhile.

Neither one of you should have said it, and he shouldn't be instructing anyone to say it. Perhaps he didn't feel loved growing up or never heard it...

You two are both walking red flags.

You two are both insecure, desperate, lonely, haven't any self esteem, don't know your self worth, don't respect yourselves, don't love nor think highly of yourselves.

It's been only a month and you've resorted to telling a stranger that you love them because you felt obligated. He instructed you to say it, so you did.

It's just your hormones and you getting caught up in the 'newness' of everything.

I feel the both of you should date other people.. but first work on yourself.

He's playing you. This is all game, or he's mentally unwell. Either one drop him.

You two aren't even in a relationship.

[haana]

you’re right to not rush things. Rushing things will only get you into instability of relationship. You wanna be ready when you love and involved with someone. Tell him if you want to move things slow, he should understand that.

[Asker]

Thank you, I agree too. I’ll only tell him if given the opportunity because I don’t want him to start thinking I’ve don’t like him as much if I do it out of the blue. Or I will need to come up with the right topic to talk about it. I’m doing the work in my head tho

[slatyb]

He's very insecure and needy anf rushing things. Not a good sign..

[Asker]

Rushing things I get, but what part makes you believe he is insecure? Is it that he asked me to tell him that I loved him? Because I did think about that, but I also thought of it as him baiting me to

[slatyb]

"Is it that he asked me to tell him that I loved him?" Yes, that. Ewww.

[Asker]

Thanks for your input

[ThrillSeeker01]

Right. No need to rush things, take the time to get to know each other.

[Asker]

Definitely agree. I can’t lie it’s challenging but I’m coming to terms that I should slow down

[Anonymous]

I think he needs to start dating other women. I think you need to give him that option. Because right now by what you've typed he's committing to you but you're still on the fence. He should have another option. Since the option of you MIGHT NOT pan out.

[Asker]

Where do you see that I’m on the fence? It’s only been one month and at this time yes, I’m fully in this for the long run. I’ve never been one to be wishy washy about who I’m dating or in a relationship with, but only I would know that ig.

[Opinion Owner]

You're in this fully for the long run. But you just aren't fully in it for the long run right at this moment.
I don't know why you ask what we think then get mad that we tell you. What's the point of asking?
Ask yourself how you'd feel about it if you were the one speaking in definite terms and he was the one speaking like you are right now? Yeah that's right, you'd be giving him and ultimatum or dumping him.

[Asker]

I wasn’t upset I think you read my tone wrong. If you look at my replies I haven’t got upset with anyone. I disagreed because I don’t think you’re understanding me. I’m just speaking from a realistic perspective.

[Asker]

Realistically, I’m not used to moving this fast with anyone. And because I’m really into him, I don’t want to get caught up being struck my Cupid to not think clearly. That’s the only reason why I’m here asking

[Opinion Owner]

Your tone has nothing to do with anything. I wasn't even considering your tone because it's not relevant. And you're also not telling me anything different. Again it's about you. You don't want to move this fast, you don't want to be struck buy cupids arrow. That's fine. I don't care. I wish he was reading this. I wish he would see where your heads at. But clearly he won't so again. I'm telling you the responsible thing to do is level with him and say you're nowhere near where he is. Give him a chance to find happiness elsewhere. I agree he's moving too fast. But that's clearly what he wants. So give him the option of finding it elsewhere. I didn't say tell him to go away. I said flat out level with him that you're nowhere near where he is. So he at least has the option of going elsewhere.

[Asker]

You’re saying all this with no context that I haven’t been transparent with him about where I’m at by the way. You’re also putting words in my mouth.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't sound like you love him. You should be honest with him about that.

[Asker]

I do love him, that's why I'm here asking. I don't wanna get hurt from missing red flags or seeing things through a rose colored glass. I believe his intentions are legit in my deepest heart.

[Opinion Owner]

I don't want to trivialize but are you sure it's him, the man you've known for about a month, who you say "seems like" a good man, are you sure it's him you love or do you love the idea of a commitment and possibly marriage?

[Asker]

That is a valid question I appreciate you asking. Marriage sounds amazing of course, but knowing the kind of person I am, I tend to be more on the cynical side. I have to force myself to believe that it may actually work out. While being that way, I also tend to feel deeply and fall for those that gets me emotional. I consider myself demisexual so I am relying purely emotionally. So now I'm trying to get in touch with my brain lol. I know that I can say I love him for sure. It doesn't take a lot for me to love someone. Love grows and I know this is one of those cases where I could possibly truly fall for him

[Opinion Owner]

Happy for you then. Hope it works out just proceed cautiously until you know him a little better and have evidence that he's genuine and not just a bunch of words.

[Asker]

Thank you. I have to def pay attention to actions. Can't be so emotional

[Wise4myage]

There a huge red flag.!

[Asker]

Care to explain?

[Wise4myage]

You can’t force love and that’s what he is doing.

[Asker]

Thanks!

[Wise4myage]

Your welcome