I always say never make assumptions. Never assume the worst, but never assume the best. By and large this is good advice, but is it? When your gut is telling you something is off what do you do? You have to make a choice not an assumption. Over the years I have had this assumption argument thrown in my face. I have had no less than three women break it off with me for making assumptions.
"I am no longer interested, because I do not like the assumptions you are making about me."
They say this as a way to justify their behaviors or escape responsibility for their own choices. Thats all it is, blame shifting.
I was talking to woman, we scheduled a date, on Tuesday to meet up on Saturday. She sent a text at 7am on Tuesday, I replied in kind. On Wednesday I sent her the link to the place and asked her if she was okay with meeting there. By Thursday at 7am there was no response. 48 hours on read, with three unanswered messages in between.
"No matter where your path takes you, I wish you the best of luck."
She replies immediately, what no date now on Saturday?
I said you left me on read for 48 hours without responding when all I wanted was simple confirmation. So, not knowing the situation, I was giving you a gracious way out, if something had changed. But if you are still interested then I would love to go out with you on Saturday.
She responded with; "NO THANK YOU. Because I do not like the assumptions you are making about me. Instead of asking me what's going on you just made your own assumptions." I replied with, "Thats Bullshit."
My gut was telling me something is not right here. So, accept rejection for what it is and be gracious about it. Women always say men cannot accept rejection, but when you do, and you try to do it graciously, this is the bullshit.
It got me thinking that this same scenario has played out in basically the same way in similar circumstance several times throughout my dating life. Basically, women said... "instead of asking the question, you make an assumption."
Now, there is some truth it. I could have sent that last text saying, "I hope everything is okay with you?"
Last week this happened again, and this time I sent the " I hope everything is okay with you?" She responded positivity to that, after not hearing from her for three days... and now we have a date on Saturday. I will not lie, I am only looking for sex now, because you already showed me who you are.
But it got me thinking, are they doing this on purpose just to see how you react to it?
Like a form of gaslighting they set up the scenario, just to see if you will respond positively to it, then blame shift. "I do not like the assumptions you are making about me.
Why? Thats the age-old question, but I stand by my original response.
My gut was telling me something is not right. I did not accuse her of anything; I do not have to assume a damn thing in order to a choice. Why the fuck you going 48 hours without replying then acting stupid about it?