Search Results: still not over my ex

i met this guy on yikyak and although we never shared pictures or exchanged social media or talked on call, we described to each other how we look. i lied about my appearance (i’m overweight and not conventionally attractive so i was insecure). i’m (18F) talking to a guy (21M). we started off with just sexting. we caught feelings for each other and are still talking (since January 2024). the thing is that initially in the beginning i didn’t give him my real name or which city i live in. slowly over time, these lies built up. i didn’t think we would even talk for more than a week but we still are. he knows my age, where and what i study, but i lied to him about my name, where i live, my ethnicity/nationality (i’m a woc), what my parents do, sibling, what i look like, and some of my outfits. i also told him i have an ex of 6 years who cheated on me (i was embarrassed i didn’t have any ex when he has 2-3). over time as we caught feelings for each other, he told me he would like to meet me (he’d fly to where i study), ask me out, date me for a couple of years and finally marry me and have a family with me. i think despite these lies we have a real connection- we talk about our dreams and ambitions, our feelings, our favorite music and movies, we talk about books, about our families, our problems, our achievements and pretty much everything. i’m the only person besides his mom who he has told about what he wants to do in the future. we talk most of the day and sleep together on spotify jam. i made him a playlist and he made me one. this weekend he asked me to make a playlist for us to sleep to. a week ago, i told him i loved him and he told me he loved me. i genuinely love this guy a lot and want to have a real relationship with him. should i tell him the truth? if so, how will he react? or should i just tell him i can’t meet because my parents don’t approve and let him go forever?

I watch true crime where the ex lovers of these serial killers talk about how love made them do stupid things, these killers showed really early on they were trouble & these women continued to stay with them because they were so in love with these guys. 29F & being under the impression that I have an avoidant attachment style, over the years I’ve ended “friendships” when I grew tired of dealing with their behaviors that didn’t sit well with me. I have a habit of letting things build up & just eventually ice them out vs confronting them early on. Not to mention, when guys showed earlier on during the talking stages that they may have ways about them that don’t sit well with me, I’ll end it from going any further. Someone I saw very briefly in my early twenties previously dated a girl that was probably bipolar & put him through shit, I would make comments like how I couldn’t believe he still stayed with her through all of that. And he pretty much implied I can’t understand why he did that because I’ve never been in love. I hate being spoken down to, condescension results in me dipping out asap. Again, I pump the brakes in any kind of interpersonal relationship. Am I naive in assuming I’m this way because I just have a strong personality? Or is it because I haven’t met the person that has me so enamored & it results in me being strung along? Thoughts? Similar experiences?