My ex wife and I have a long history. We’ve been friends over 11 years, married 2. About 8 months ago i found her cheating on me and we split up and filed for divorce. I soon tried to move on a found a lovely girl I knew I wanted to date. She understood my situation but accepted it bc we were no longer together.
The divorce was supposed to be final around Thanksgiving but it was contested as wife decided she wanted the house. It is now late April.
My ex and I again are very close. Even though I can no longer be in a relationship with her, I’ve made it clear I will always have her back and maintain mutual love and respect. Although we no longer live together, we did both sign the lease so she sometimes uses the house as well to shower do laundry, or crash on the couch if her parents are fighting as she had to move back in with them.
None of this bothers me and my new girlfriend has been very understanding that sometimes I have to deal with my ex or she is at the house occasionally since it is half hers. However my ex is very disrespectful of my girlfriend. She has cut holes in her clothes she found at the house, took my phone while I was sleeping to send photos pretending were together and yelled at her to get out through the security cameras.
Last night however she went too far. My girlfriend was just helping me work on some paperwork and my ex had watched her go in the house on camera. She started threatening my girlfriend about calling cops which she did. My girlfriend had to hide in the bedroom crying while I had to get rid of them so they didn’t search the house and find her even tho she did nothing wrong. Also I’m on parole so breaking in report could be bad for me if they didn’t believe me. My girlfriend said this can’t happen again and I need to expedite the divorce and show her when it’s done. I’ve known my ex so long I don’t want to dissolve a decade long friendship but she’s really causing problems. What do I do
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My ex is crazy when it comes to my new girlfriend but I still have ties to her I don’t know what to do?
Updates
10 d
I am 30M girlfriend is 27 F, ex is 29 F
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Opinion
1Opinion
Wow bro, that's a super messed up situation with your ex wife. I can't believe she cut up your new girl's clothes and pretended to be together through your phone, that's next level crazy!
It must be really tough to think about ending a friendship with someone you've known for so long. But you also can't let her keep threatening and harassing your girlfriend like that. It's not fair to your new girl to have to deal with that kind of drama, and I don't blame her for saying it has to stop. Your ex crossed a big line by calling the cops too when your girlfriend didn't do anything wrong.
You need to think about what's most important - holding on to the past with your ex, or being able to move on happily with this new girl who really seems to care about you. As hard as it is, I think showing your ex you're serious about the divorce is the only way to get her to back off. Set some clear boundaries that her behavior is unacceptable. Maybe limit contact for now so the friendship doesn't negatively affect your relationship.
In the long run, being able to fully commit to someone new without all this ex drama hanging over you might be healthier. It sucks, but sometimes you've just got to let go of history for the sake of your future, you know? I'm here if you need to vent about it man. Just don't wanna see you or your girl get hurt more because of this.