Search Results: i feel so alone

30F & I wonder if most women get where I’m coming from. I’ve never been in a real relationship, saw someone very briefly in my early twenties. Haven’t had sex either since then and don’t feel the need to, masturbating doesn’t do anything for me. Also doesn’t help that I’m not the friendliest, the only way I’ve met up with guys over the years were on dating apps. I get attention on them but it just feels off in a way, I’ve always felt like I am going to end up alone. I don’t want kids but like the idea of getting married, over the years people have justified my single status to being picky or shy etc. Those are excuses or cop outs, I feel like compared to the average woman though I likely get less attention from guys in person.

Literally the only attention I’ve gotten from guys I find attractive are on dating apps, in person maybe someone I was outside with would tell me that this guy looked at me etc (on and off throughout the years). But they never make it known to me directly, it makes me second guess things. It’s like I always wonder why I never have a boyfriend if I’m told I’m attractive, I also hear about a lot of introverted/socially awkward women that are in long term relationships. I really wonder if finding the right person is the answer to all my issues, I’ve spoken to guys in the past and tend to find ways to get out of it before I determine if they’re a good fit or not. Something about guys has always felt…different. Since I was in my teens, never got the craze with being boy crazy etc.

30F and I wonder if most women get where I’m coming from. I’ve never been in a real relationship, saw someone very briefly in my early twenties. Haven’t had sex either since then and don’t feel the need to, masturbating doesn’t do anything for me. Also doesn’t help that I’m not the friendliest, the only way I’ve met up with guys over the years were on dating apps. I get attention on them but it just feels off in a way, I’ve always felt like I am going to end up alone. I don’t want kids but like the idea of getting married, over the years people have justified my single status to being picky or shy etc. Those are excuses or cop outs, I feel like compared to the average woman though I likely get less attention from guys in person.

Literally the only attention I’ve gotten from guys I find attractive are on dating apps, in person maybe someone I was outside with would tell me that this guy looked at me etc (on and off throughout the years). But they never make it known to me directly, it makes me second guess things. It’s like I always wonder why I never have a boyfriend if I’m told I’m attractive, I also hear about a lot of introverted/socially awkward women that are in long term relationships. I really wonder if finding the right person is the answer to all my issues, I’ve spoken to guys in the past and tend to find ways to get out of it before I determine if they’re a good fit or not. Something about guys has always felt…different. Since I was in my teens, never got the craze with being boy crazy etc.

Hi Ladies!

Ok, so true story, a good guy friend of mine once sat at our favorite bar and "outlined" all my attributes for me in a way that was just matter-of-fact, like a lawyer making a case for his client. In closing, he said, "... I've known all this since the first time I saw you. You just light up the room as soon as you walk into it, without doing anything at all. Any guy who can't see and feel that is nuts." He held up his Macallan and toasted me, which made me laugh and nudge him. It was very sweet and meant to get me out of the funk of the nasty things people were saying about me being a divorcee, etc.

Today's the anniv of his passing (RIP 2020, COVID), so he's on my mind. I didn't reject his incredible compliment, but I didn't really accept them and let them sink in till this month. Since this heart to heart five years ago I've had lots of compliments about different things and I always automatically deflect them as something kind the other person is saying. I don't take it to heart. Sometimes if a person goes on and on about something I did I'll blush, quietly thank the person and outline THEIR qualities, indicating that if I'm good at something it's because I have the benefit of working with THEM (which I also truly believe... no one really stands alone 100%). This morning I receive a compliment and I let it sink in a little... to my heart... and it was a great feeling. I think my friend sent this person my way with a kind word because I was feeling glum and remembering all our chats before he passed on...

Anyway, I got to thinking... how many of us don't know how to accept a compliment?

Take a moment to think about the nicest thing anyone's ever said to you. How did you respond? Did you ACCEPT the compliment or DEFLECT it?