Search Results: getting over a break up get over

I’ve twice been in a position where I wanted to break up but my girlfriend who didn’t do anything wrong. It really was more of a “it’s not you it’s me” thing.

I did option B years ago and deeply regretted it. As twisted as it sounds I acted douchey on purpose (acting disconnected and taking her for granted). Truth is I deeply loved her as a person but I wanted to make it easier for her to move on. I could of dropped the axe earlier but instead I drove her into breaking up with me. Noble intentions or not above B actually ended horribly (complicated). I thought we had a mutual respect/understanding at the end. But she looked at me like I was less than human later.

So years later when I was in the exact same position again I choose option A. My then girlfriend went nuclear and threatened to seriously kill herself. In a way she proved my deep down suspicions that getting serious with her was a bad idea. Her reaction made me feel like I made the right decision. I got over that one much more quickly. But I also got to deal with some guilt that I did at one point get her hopes up.

I feel like break ups are a zero sum game.

I'm starting a career hopefully in the coming year as after I visit my long distance girlfriend with my vacation time which took me 2 years to get, I intend to send in my application to the academy. I'll be seeing her in August but the application review could take a long time before they accept me and put me into an academy class.

I wanted to move out earlier but rent has gone up literally 5 fold and I can't even come close to being able to afford my own place now and it's only getting worse, so for at least a few more years, I'm stuck living with my parents still.

My parents have never been happy together throughout my life and they've had domestic disputes before, some of which my dad broke items in the house. Since they made 2 friends, they've been going out literally every night and getting shithoused at the bar. Then they'd come home separately and have a drunken argument that's about as intelligent as you can expect from two people in their 50s with the maturity of toddlers.

My dad at one point spent over $3,000 in alcohol in one night and then that same night spent another $2,000 at a strip club. Yes, a strip club and came home giggling as if he'd done nothing wrong. My dad sometimes purposefully causes conflict because he wants to feel in control, it's not uncommon for him to drop the N word and once said it literally over 100 times in one night, which is ironic seeing as how he's black.

They've acted so childish and stupid that it's become hilarious to me and my girlfriend when I tell her about their behavior, also holding it up as a perfect example of how me and her are not. I sometimes joke to her that at least they're presenting a perfect example of how not to have a happy relationship.

Do you ever laugh at your parents arguing?