My boyfriend likes a lot of girls photos on instagram (his online crushes and girls he used to like), should I bring this up with him?

[Anonymous]

He did this before when we were just beginning to date and he says “I just like everyone’s pictures.” I usually don’t mind I like my friends photos too but it’s when he likes girls’ thirst trap or bikini photos that I get upset. He has tiktok crushes (we’re teenagers by the way) that he follows and likes almost every photo, I get embarrassed when my girl friends inform me. But what hurts most of all is when he likes a *suggestive* picture of a girl from our school that we both know in person, and I know he finds them hot. My heart drops when I see his names in the likes and it’s been making me insecure. I’m slowly getting better but I can’t lie it hurts when he does it. He hasn’t ever commented on their post flirting (I’d break up with him if he did) and he never dm’d them, I don't know if this whole thing counts as cheating but that isn’t the issue, I just feel disrespected, it’s disrespectful for him to do that to his girlfriend. I don’t actively like guys photos on my instagram, I just don’t care about them I care about my relationship with my boyfriend. And I’ve matured beyond the point to be thirsting over random people. I’m worried he doesn’t care about me enough to stop doing it. Any of the boys please tell me is this behavior normal for a boyfriend? If any girl experienced this also, how do you get through it?

[dynamicyandere]

You’re right—that’s disrespectful. He has wandering eyes. He shouldn’t have wandering eyes if he’s committed and loyal to you. You did say you two are still teenagers though, so I suppose the raging hormones may make it more difficult for him to exercise self-restraint. Hopefully he can grow out of it—like you’ve grown out of thirsting over random strangers.


I don’t think it would be a bad idea to let him know how it affects you though. If he cares about you, he should let this habit go. Just don’t make it sound demanding—as that may make him defensive and it may turn into an argument and he may label you as being controlling. Approach the topic in a way where you’re simply letting him know how it hurts you and how it would mean a lot to you if he would stop. Then, the ball’s in his court. It’ll be his opportunity to show how much he cares about your feelings.


If he stops, then great. I’m happy for you two and I’m happy that he made the right decision. If he doesn’t stop, well. That will just show that he has room to grow and mature to become a better boyfriend.

[Asker]

Thank you so much for the response❤️! I feel like I should’ve seen the signs, I thought he would stop doing it once we became a couple but yea we’re 4 months in. He’s a really great boyfriend to me (minus his flaws like this issue, he watches lots of porn and his mother defends all his actions) but I don't know I’m not sure if I’m in the place to change him I’m afraid he’ll say that’s just how he is. I find myself thinking if I need to just find someone who doesn’t do this instead of trying to change him or if I should’ve ended it earlier if i knew he’d continue this habit. He wants us to be long term and we’ve talked about applying to the same colleges this year so I wanna give him a chance to change. Thank you for the tips to approach it, he usually tells me he can’t help natural attraction and that I’m the one he chose to be with in the end so it shouldn’t matter. He hasn’t reached that maturity yet, we’re still 17 so I don’t know if I expect too much. If he won’t change this habit I think I’ll really leave as it does too much on my mental health but I don't know how to bring that up. I want to just tell him why did you ask me out just to be showing everyone you’re attracted to many other girls. But yeah I don’t want to come off as controlling or crazy for feeling this way

[dynamicyandere]

You’re very welcome. ☺️ Yeah, I’d say it’s normal at his age and common age his age, but he should grow out of it eventually. And, if you want to hold yourself to higher standards, that’s cool too. You didn’t have to just accept what he’s doing just because it’s commonly done. There are guys that exist that are more loyal than that—you just have to find them.

[dynamicyandere]

As long as you express your thoughts as heartfelt concerns, and not demands, you should be fine. 😊

[A_stranger]

I sense the insecurity in you. How much do you trust him?
Do you think he may not like you and may choose someone else over you?
Liking a pic shouldn't be considered as cheating but you should let him know what you feel about it (calmly though). You both can figure that out together.

[Asker]

Yeah I don’t consider it cheating, overall I trust him, to him it’s fine just looking at pretty girls and liking their photos. He was the one who asked me out, I actually rejected him in the past but we’re together now. I kinda brought the issue up once (cause he watches a lot of porn) and he assured me I’m the one he chose to be with. I’ll let him know how I feel I’m just not sure how to bring it up, like do I wait until I see another of his likes and ask about it? And I’ll say I get he’s attracted to them but I don’t support him making the decision to like those photos. It’s just hard to make him understand how I feel about it cause he always tells me he can’t help attraction and I don’t want to come off as extremely jealous

[A_stranger]

Well it seems that it's just an attraction thing for him. And he just likes to watch porn and hot girls on social media.
But it is bothering you so he should care about how you feel about it... Don't wait for him to like another pic. Just whenever you are together and in good mood to talk, you can bring that up. Don't make it look like an issue though. Just express your disagreement to that and find a solution that is acceptable to both you. Discuss it with him.

[hahahmm]

Just dump him & move on. You're only a teen, not married. There are other guys who won't rub your face in the fact that he finds other girls at your school attractive.

[Asker]

If he doesn’t change after we talk then I probably will break up with him. Which sucks cause I really love him and he’s done a lot for me for the past 4 months. He also wants us to be long term and wants to go to the same college as me so I’m giving him a chance. I won’t date for a while if we ever break up, I’m just not sure if a lot of guys like that exist, guys that don’t like girls photos all the time, cause the guys I’ve asked said it’s normal and I expect too much. I don’t know if im wrong for asking him to change this or if I just need to find someone else who doesn’t do this

[hahahmm]

Read my mytake about trust.

[LemLemLoves]

You should talk to him about how it's making you feel, personally, I think his actions are a little iffy but it kind of depends?

[Guy13]

It seems like you are not his priority

[truthisthree]

deal with it

[Asker]

🥲Am I overreacting?