Search Results: happy marriage

I met an amazing guy, who is my age.
My dad does not agree with the relationship because he thinks I'm being lustful and emotional and taking my focus off my education, which is funny because he never took the time to ask me how I'm going with my studies but the minute he knows I'm in a relationship he says that even after I told him that my grades have improved and that I go better in school ever since I've been with this guy.

I have an African dad, and most African people or at least Nigerian people, when they hear relationship they think immediately of sex outside of marriage. And me being in a relationship at 18 is like me being rebellious and thinking I can do whatever I want because I'm 18, that's what my dad thinks. But the reality is that I met this guy now at 18 and I couldn't let the chance go.

He tries talking me out of this relationship he does not care about the fact that I'm genuinely happy and that many things have improved in my life... for once I do not have to deal with everything alone. All he cares about is me being submissive and taking his word as law.

My aunty called and said the same thing and basically that I'm too young and that I should just focus on my education. I just feel stressed, overwhelmed and misunderstood.

Even when it comes to lust or sex... as a Christian couple we talked about these things and we have boundaries and our thoughts aren't focused on those things at all because we believe that things like that should be done in the confines of marriage.

But yet, nothing, almost as if no one other than my mom and close friends understand.

I feel overwhelmed because I've always wanted a guy like the guy I currently have right now yet it's like I can't be happy.

My dad, and my aunty and I'm sure my other close relatives will continue to say the same thing, they make me feel young and stupid, I'm even tired of standing up for myself and relationship. It is exhausting, I just want to be happy, I don't know what to do.

Nowadays it's getting hard to find a like-minded individual. If both people are honest from the start in what they want or don't want, who do you think has it harder?

- A woman finding a man that wants marriage and not keep her as a forever girlfriend.

- A man finding a woman that never wants marriage and is happy being his forever live-in girlfriend.

I am P1 he is P2

(Was a bit funny bc he was like shaking his head slowly “no” while I was saying good solution”, So I laughed)

2 Well, I made you laugh 3 times thats something 😃😃😃

(That confused me not bc I didn’t Understand it was a joke but I didn’t get the point…So I was quiet)

2 Sooo ok how about this we just continue to spend time together and see how it goes.

1 yeahhhh 😬 so I’m never comfortable with “let’s wait & see”that even it’s what _I’m_doing bc it usually means something different to other people than it does to me…. For example, I AM “seeing how things go” but I think It’s different for me bc I do not have a cut off point. I do not have a ‘if something doesn’t happen by such and such a time, I’m out’ Such as sex marriage or fancy dinners or whatever lol. I’m literally just “seeing what is there”… Sooooo if someone actually IS looking for something specific and they are on a timer ⏰ , I’d prefer they just say that rather than basically “let’s see if it happens on time “ 🤪😎

2 Alright 🤔 Soooo In all that time we hung out, what two years now? I didn’t ask you out. Right?

(was confused & I thought he meant like “I do not care much about dating you at all”)

2 😛 I don’t mean it like that. What I mean is, I’m not in a rush to “date” I didn’t ask you out and I wasn’t looking to date, I agreed bc what do you call it “I feel some kind of way about you”… I was cool on my own. I have dated a fair amount and I’m busy now it isn’t bothering me to be single 🤷🏽‍♂️ I’m happy to get to know you but we don’t need to “date” if that’s not what YOU want. 😇

(So honestly at that point I wasn’t sure then what he wanted)

1 Sooo do you mean you want to stay friends? 🤷🏻‍♀️

2 Well, I def want to stay friends!😃 why wouldn’t I…. and maybe you’ll change your mind eventually and we can date if you decide. Meanwhile we can just be like this. If you want. 🙂🙂

1. 🧐 I have question but you don’t have to answer.

2. Go for it. 👍🏼