Who has it harder?

[SeleneSecret]

Nowadays it's getting hard to find a like-minded individual. If both people are honest from the start in what they want or don't want, who do you think has it harder?

- A woman finding a man that wants marriage and not keep her as a forever girlfriend.

- A man finding a woman that never wants marriage and is happy being his forever live-in girlfriend.

A woman finding a man that wants marriage

A man finding a woman that never wants marriage

Updates

1 y

I heard that the amount of finding marriage-minded men still override the number of women that never want marriage. I guess the guy will find it harder to find such girl, what do you think? Who has it harder?

[Vesuvius87]

Meanwhile less men are committing nowadays, I have yet to meet a woman that doesn't get hurt if her boyfriend tells her ''we're never getting married'' or ''oh you're not ready for marriage''. Honestly (generally; with few exceptions) that's like the emotional equivalent of kicking a man's balls. It hurts so badly. It's agonizing.

There is one woman in my family that's unmarried and childless at age 40-41. Even she got disappointed when she was my age and the boyfriend didn't want marriage. The guy wanted to have a child but only live together as boyfriend and girlfriend. She said no, broke up and remain single till this day. I can't really think of a woman that would be jumping up and down with excitement with that deal.

A woman still has a better chance of finding a man that wants marriage.

[Anonymous]

Hmm I don't know as a woman having mostly female friends, I’ve never met anyone that never wants marriage. The girls that I know may not want to get married now or anytime soon BUT they do want to get married eventually. So I feel like it’ll be harder to find a woman that never wants marriage.

[Anonymous]

Women have made marriage too risky and expensive, and sex too cheap.

Despite all the false rhetoric out there about marriage benefitting men more than women, the reality today is that marriage benefits men less than women, and far less than marriage of the past benefitted men.

Today half of marriages end in divorce, women file 80% of divorces and men get screwed in divorce court and child custody settlements.

And sex is easy to get outside of marriage now, so there is even less motivation for men to take on the risks of marriage.

That's why the marriage rate is already at an all time low and continues to plummet.

[SeleneSecret]

I'm aware of this but I didn't ask why are marriage harder. I asked what is harder to find, a man that still wants marriage or a woman that really never ever wants marriage.
Who was it harder? The girl finding a man wanting marriage or a man finding a woman that will never ever nag him for marriage, a woman that really doesn't ever want marriage?

[SeleneSecret]

Don't deviate the question. I didn't ask for information about divorce rate. I asked for which has it harder.

[Opinion Owner]

I answered your question, it just went over your head. I'll summarize for you... it's harder for women, because women have made it hard for themselves.

[SeleneSecret]

Ok thanks. Yes they're making it harder for the rest of us. Then these two positions aren't good for us:
- Living together with several different bfs, all ending up in break-ups and being a childless single 30+ year-old woman, our market value decreases by then. Now she's running out of time and has to look for a man that will commit.
- Having a child in a relationship but then it ends up in a break-up. Then being in another relationship, have a child too and it also ends in a break-up. Now she's a single mother with 2 kids of 2 different men and rarely any man will commit to her, much less raise kids not his.

[SeleneSecret]

Hopefully things get solves eventually. I think no one should get any monetary incentive unless they are able to prove they've been abused in the marriage or cheated on.

[Opinion Owner]

I agree with all of that. We are on the same page. But I'm not hopeful things will change for the better in my lifetime at least. I hope I'm wrong.

Thanks

[Effably]

Definitely the man. While there is an increasingly vocal group against marriage as it offers little to most men the majority of us are still open to or wanting marriage somewhere down the line.

Meanwhile while some women don't care much for marriage and finding one of them, or someone to who it isn't a big deal, isn't very difficult most women still want to marry some day.

Matching majorities seem a lot easier than matching minorities.

[Vesuvius87]

Yeah I imagine if a man were to walk into a huge room with 100 women and say loudly ''Yo ladies, who wants to be just my girlfriend, who never wants marriage, raise your hands'', I'm willing to bet there would just be 3 hands raised at most, or just 1.
I can't think of a woman that would be jumping with excitement with that deal.

[Effably]

Yeah, if he puts it that way I'd have to go from not very difficult to near impossible. But assuming he reaffirms her, explains he loves her just as much or more than if they married but that he simply believes that their emotional bond is what matters to him, well some would still leave. But not eveyone out of 100 anymore.

[MCheetah]

The majority of people still want to get married, despite what social media tries to make you think. (Although I sure as hell ain't one of 'em!)

So a man finding a woman that never wants marriage, is a lot harder to find. Most women want marriage, especially since marriage does NOTHING to benefit a man (outside of emotional reasons and tax cuts, I guess) and does everything to benefit women.

[TheSpaceGnome]

I want marriage, but I'm happy with either.

If I have a forever girlfriend, I'm calling her my wife, even if not married, and treating her as such.

For me its not the papers or the ceremony or the title, it's the promise to stay and be loyal that I care about.

[Anonymous]

Quality men are becoming rare, especially if you want marriage. Most men are simply not worth marrying.

[Anonymous]

I don't think either is hard to find. Most women don't want marriage these days.

[In_Trance]

equal

[dean53AU]

First one I reckon,

[Vesuvius87]

yes and all because of the stupid golddiggers. They are making it harder even in my country too. This westernized thing got spread even in Latin countries where everyone lives together and break up, then live together with someone else but can't break up anytime the relationship goes sour instead of staying to work on the issues, staying committed.