Search Results: hating boys

I don't know I've noticed men just want women that wear makeup even if its a little bit, and have some feminine side to them. But I don't wear makeup, it hurts my skin and Its hard to get off and I hate the implication behind it like how I'm pressured to wear it. I've always never worn it yet I see all the women in the media wear it both fiction and real. I see a lot of women Ik that wear it and pressure me to wear it. What am I supposed to do? I'm not liked by anyone because I'm seen as someone that doesn't care about my looks, but I am not used to caring about my looks alongside not doing makeup, I don't get hair, or fashion either. Hell, I didn't even realize there were boy and girl clothes I've grown up just seeing them as pieces of materials and nothing more.

I'm not even masculine in personality Im just masculine in my style, it confused the hell out of my past bfs who got confused by my shy sensitive nature but then would never see me wear makeup, dresses, or know how to do my hair. I felt really bad and fake too.

Should I just get a girlfriend... I'm already bi so?
Should I try being feminine? considering I never have done it before...
Should I try wearing a little bit of makeup? despite sensory problems and co. wtf
sorry that ths is long

I was an introvert since I was a child. I’m still trying to talk more often but I didn’t like to talk too much it’s just that I find it unnecessary to talk so much. It’s not easy for me to talk to people whom I don’t have a close relationship with. I had a hard time trusting too many people, most of the boys in high school were not boyfriend material. They talked about sleeping with as many girls as possible and they are not interested in getting into a relationship. When one of those jerks approached me and claimed he had feelings for me, I rejected him in a very harsh manner assuming he only want me is because he wants to sleep with me. I was right he wasn’t the type of guy who wants a serious relationship, it’s only the sex. That’s how he and his group of friends hated me for being ruthlessly harsh but that’s my personality. I can be vicious and heartless in my speech when I knew a guy want me because of sex and nothing else. I was still the same when I found out my ex used me for sex, in the end he hated me because I didn’t gave him a good time. Do I feel guilty for being harsh to my ex? Not in the slightest.