How I, the avoidant 'I hate love' 20 something year old girl, caught feelings within a week

[Anonymous]

I've said this and I'll say it again: when it comes to women, we don't care too much about looks.

We fall for what we hear and what we feel.

And if you read on, you'll know exactly why.

A case study: a little bit about me

For my GAG friends, you may know that I am your typical 20-something-year-old girl who doesn't know what she wants.

And then I waste my time talking to stupid boys and going on silly dates, just to cry myself to sleep again and decide that I am done with love.

After the decision is made, everything's alright, until my friend last week decided to show me the ring on her finger.

Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy for her but it just highlighted to me how stupid I was, denying my feelings and wasting it on guys that would literally never be loyal to me.

So I am the friend who says she will never trust a man. She will never be in a LDR. She leads an independent life and never wants to depend on a man for anything...

How I caught feelings

Play your cards right, and you can get any girl you want. I am living evidence.

A lot of guys here complain about a woman's unrealistic standards. Women want a man with money, with looks, with game...

I met a guy and he's the first gentleman I've ever talked to.

Suddenly, what he did for a living, his body type, his beard (funny enough, yes, I require a guy with a nice beard), just didn't matter.

What mattered was he texted me on time, he was honest about who he was seeing, and most of all he was honest about how he felt towards me and what he wanted.

And that's how I caught feelings...years and years later, a guy came into my life, played his cards right and broke me out of my shell.

[KostasKouvalis]

That's actually kind of true because I knew an Aussie girl who thought she had a specific type, but said once you fall for someone your preferences and idealized images suddenly go out the door. But it only raises the question of how he managed to seduce her in the first place. You need to write a follow up MyTake explaining what exactly constitutes, "playing your cards right". I would imagine it varies from girl to girl.

Sure, he may have been loyal and punctual, but you had no way of knowing that upon meeting him. So clearly, he used some other means to seduce you and I wanna know what those are😂

[myTake Owner]

Sure I’ll try my best to write a MyTake on it.
I say my best because I’m a female obviously so I don’t really know exactly what it is, but I can talk a little bit about my experiences.

The thing is it’s really true when they say women fall in love with what they hear. Like if a man has a particular way of drawing you in, he WILL draw you in. It’s happened to me before a few times with guys I would’ve never considered dating when I first met them. And it’s all because they have their “ways” !!

I’m not really sure where it comes from. It could come from experience dealing with girls but I also think it’s just part of their personality. Some people make mundane things more interesting.

[Anonymous]

So I don't understand, you found love or you're still avoiding it? People have to be attracted to each other, that's the first thing you notice. When I see a girl I think is cute, that's the first thing I notice but what's inside matters more, beauty is only skin deep.

[myTake Owner]

As an avoidant, I still engage in relationships and I crave them. But when things get a little serious and I start developing feelings I run back into my shell and block the person out of my life because I am fearful. I crave intimacy and love just as much as someone with a secure or anxious attachment style. It kinda sucks because avoidants are usually antagonists towards themselves. He was the first guy that I didn't run back into my shell after catching feelings for him.

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks for explaining. Are you still with the guy that you caught feelings for? Good luck with everything :)

[myTake Owner]

No problem! I am on and off with him at the moment... it’s hard lol. Thank you :)

[Opinion Owner]

You're welcome and good luck :)

[belle_kai]

I used to be like this, get attached to people quickly but its low self esteem and I worked on it, plus having a good social life outside of a guy helps otherwise everything becomes about the guy. Have good girl friends around you that you can rely on. When I date now, I get to know them but I like my Independence so I don't need to hear from them or be there all the time. I started solo travelling too abroad and going on UK trips and that was great for me

[belle_kai]

(I read your breakup post, so I probably should have posted this on there 😂)

[myTake Owner]

Looool yeah it was him I broke up with😂 I wrote this when I first met him

[Guy13]

Well, I go after what I want so I really lack an ability to understand the motivation. It makes me sad...

[myTake Owner]

We broke up anyway lol.

[Guy13]

Damn…🤷🏻‍♂️ It is what it is. Enjoy your weekend

[myTake Owner]

Haha you too