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Black male's experience in college

" Back in college I’ve seen the sexiest Asians just throw themselves heavily at white guys. It was a surreal experience to say the least. I thought I had some sort of favoritism being an exotic, good looking black guy.

I never dated at all in high school, so had no idea what to expect in freshmen year, but I remember the first girls I ever talked to were Asian & they wanted nothing to do with me. I had a white girl that I befriended and at my first big social circle, she was my wing women & everything she told me to say seemed really good. I had no idea how to interact with women myself but the Asian girls still seemed just… indifferent, like they had no reaction to me & it wasn’t fun. Everyone else I encountered freshmen year was extremely social & fun to talk to.

It was probably because they knew I was talking to them with romantic intent & didn’t want to lead me on or had no interest. Then I asked a close white friend and he told me that Asian girls don’t like black guys, they are obsessed with whites, don’t take it personally. Some time later next semester, I got semi close to an Asian girl whose a friend of my best friend.

When we all hung out, she talks about the little things her boyfriend does that she doesn’t like but she gets very gushing about him anyway. Fast forward to sophomore second semester we were all hanging out in the student game room… she reads her phone text & begins crying & runs to the bathroom. My friend and I share a concerned face. Never knew what happened but I thought that this boyfriend must be a real catch. Until I saw his pictures and he was a very chubby, very average or a bit below average white guy. This girl was a 5ft Asian girl with perfect features everywhere, and had a very bubbly, love-able personality. Fast forward 2 years later, they break up. It’s revealed the dude she gave so much love to saw her as a fetish to release all his desires upon."

I recently broke up with my girlfriend Sandra because I had too many trust issues. I really love Sandra but I had to end it because I always thought was cheating. She seemed kinda flirtatious and inappropriate with her male friends.

Right after I dumped Sandra I went online and found a girl named Brenda. Me and Brenda were a good match. And I usually don’t do well with online dating. Only problem with Brenda is she lives in another city. I live in Seattle and she lives in Portland. So we talked online for 3 weeks until she finally drove up to Seattle to meet me. We had a great time together with the best sexual chemistry. I drove to Portland the week after. I agreed to have a long distance relationship with Brenda to keep her coming back. Brenda calls me her boyfriend. Now Brenda is talking marriage and wants me to move to Portland. I’ve told her I don’t wanna live in Portland but she’s trying to convince me. I do like Brenda and I want to keep her. But I can’t live in Portland.

As much as I like Brenda I know I’m eventually gonna have to let her go, but I’m not ready to let her go as of yet. On the other hand Sandra wants to get back together. I do love Sandra and want to be with her and try again. But I also love Brenda who I know is gonna be gone eventually. What should I do?