Search Results: if a girl loses interest in you

Long story short, I started facing forced marriage threats from my dad since I was 5. It started with my parents telling me how they got married and that it is the norm in our culture. I was pretty much feeling really scared and anxious, so one night in 1st grade I couldn’t sleep from fear and anxiety, so went to looking for comfort from my parents (mind you they were still awake and chatting to each other).

I had this “you’re my parents you’re not going to do that to me right?” as my actual intention when confronting my parents, because as a kid I somehow understood all of the downside of forced marriage including marital rape—which now as a grown adult with a BSpsych + master in psychotherapy and training in working with forced marriage survivors/girls at risk, I can confirm my understanding back then was oddly correct and logical for a 5-year-old kid (which I got no idea how child me understood the concept so well just from reading and observation but adults didn’t?).

Anyways, continuing the story, instead of reassurance from my parents, what I got was my dad becoming furious, red, and started yelling about obedience because apparently I wasn’t “submissive” or “obedient enough” for a Asian little girl. I was constantly seen as a disrespectful brat because I wanted autonomy, and they are more than wrong, because revenge is the main thing that I aimed for.

I wasn’t just a disrespectful brat, I started having this desire to kill and to destroy anyone that attempted to hurt me especially and specifically my family. When i was 7 years old the plan was final, how i want to live my life, how i will destroy people involved if i were forced by my parents to marry, how much force would be appropriate, who to hurt and not to hurt,… back then i grieved my potentially muddy future, and now i grieve for my lost childhood.

Anyways, i’m interested if you had a normal childhood

I see many who aren’t focused on their partner but rather others who are around them. For example a person looking at me while expressing their (fake) interest in another person. Clearly, you care more about my presence than being turned on or excited to see whoever you’re using to incite jealousy. It’s even more laughable when that is a lesbian looking at me. It’s obvious these 🏳️‍🌈 are more interested in me because I completely forget who’s watching when I like a man.

A gay man 🏳️‍🌈 is also more likely to enjoy the BDSM aspect of his relationship with another girl by encouraging jealousy in me instead of actually focusing on that girl. Normal heterosexual behaviour has lost appeal for these 🌈🏳️‍🌈