Maybe love isn’t for me?

[Anonymous]

I don’t know. Just like any other ordinary girl, I long to love and to be loved. To the point where it becomes desperation because it never arrives. Not once in my life have I had a boyfriend. I am 20 with zero experience. Sometimes I wonder if it’s because of my looks? But no! I know I’m very aesthetically pleasing but then why? Maybe I lack that charm? I don't know. I don’t get asked out either. I mean in highschool, I heard here and there that people had crushes on me but that’s about it. Then it’s the issue with liking guys I can’t be with, due to every possible reason. Because I don’t get asked out or reached out to, I always approached guys whom I liked. Needless to say, none of them reciprocated. Maybe because it’s my way of doing it? Maybe I don’t have that girlfriend qualities or they just don’t like my personality ( I love being sarcastic and mean as a way to express interest, weird? I know) or simply don’t vibe with it. As love never comes easy to me, I get desperate for it so I often mistake momentary infatuation with a guy for genuine interest. I always end up heartbroken and humiliated. Then I go right back in. I don't know it’s like a humiliation ritual atp. Because I lost the chance to participate in that particular part of social life, (or just any part of social life tbh) I perpetually still feel 14, only with more worries and anxiety. Or maybe it’s not. Maybe I’m just very mentally wrong. I don't know. Any opinions? People say I look very closed off and unapproachable is that why? How do people link up? Smiling? Making intimate or subtle eye contact? I don’t do them I get too nervous. I’m not even sure if I’m ready to love anybody but yk it gets very cold and lonely, at times. Should I stop being equivocal about my intentions and just hit a guy up and tell him straight, “hey I’m attracted to you are you interested?” Even if he doesn’t notice you? Or what? I’m tired of this I need to do something about it right?

[HeartShapedHaze]

I get ya, kinda in the same boat. Had a couple minor relationships in high school but was waiting till college for something a little more serious, for a couple reasons that didn't pan out. Tbh I suck at talkin to people I don't really know, plus I am short for a guy so trying to talk to girls just seems like an impossible task lol. You are still young though and someone will come along. It can happen so fast one minute you are feeling cold and alone and the next you will be talking to the man of your dreams. I can assure you though if you make the first move on a guy he will probably go with it. Just make sure the guy you are asking has the right intentions obviously.

[Asker]

Okay I’m airing my shit out atp but yk I saw this one guy around multiple times and I’m interested. Not sure about him tho. I set off on an endeavor and finally found his socials. Added him on facebook and he didn’t accept my request. I don't know what else to do. Maybe talk to him next time I see him? Maybe message him and tell him I’m interested? I don't know. He’s like at least 5 years older than me tho

[Asker]

Maybe I should just give up. It’s kinda humiliating, no? Especially if he’s older

[HeartShapedHaze]

Lol that's fine with me I'm here for ya, 5 years can be kind of a stretch, but some guys do like younger girls, but usually they like younger girls for the wrong reasons so I would be careful with that unless you know him and think he's actually a good dude. If he didn't accept the facebook request either you don't want to be super needy/clingy. Like I said just give it time, you are still very young. Personally I believe in just letting things work themselves out, no need to stress or be distraught

[HeartShapedHaze]

It's not humiliating having feelings for someone, sometimes the situation just isn't right. I worked with this girl who was actually also around 5 years older than me and man I wish I was 5 years older lol I loved everything about her, but in my head I knew the age was a problem. The thing is, I know another girl like that is out there. Same in your situation.

[Asker]

Thank you!!😊😊

[Zylos]

It sounds like you have low self-esteem. You should practise being kind to yourself, in my opinion. It may make your social life easier. Because instead of chasing validation, you'll feel more comfortable in your own skin. And you won't feel unworthy of the men you are attracted to.

[Asker]

Well after all those rejections and getting played, can you blame my self-esteem for being low? But yeah It’s true at the same time I don't know how to stop having low self-esteem either

[Zylos]

I don't blame you. I think you need to develop the SKILL of being kind to yourself. Every day, ask yourself, "How can I be kind to myself today?" and make a list.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

You’re just a late bloomer, it’s pretty common these days. But also? It wouldn’t hurt to put romantic love off of the pedestal society tells us to put it on and enjoy the platonic forms of love you can experience

[Asker]

I mean I don’t even have the platonic ones, to tell you the truth. I honestly had a whole year of mental breakdown over that, then I kinda stopped trying so hard for it. Maybe being your own company isn’t too bad yk. But now I’m onto lamenting about this haha 😆And how do you mean “late bloomer”?

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

A lot of people aren’t having their first kiss/time until their 30’s now. It’s not a big deal. Also, get a hobby and make an effort to find friends

[Asker]

I tried every hobby. They never stuck. I know it’s not a big deal. I’m just lonely

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

The hobby is FOR the friends. You need something to do while you also talk

[itsannalee]

Love yourself enough first, then you’ll find someone who loves you.

[Asker]

I heard this too much. I think I’m just very lonely cuz I don’t really have any friends either

[AI Opinion]

You're not alone in feeling like love is playing hard to get! 😊 It's not about your looks or charm, but sometimes about timing and connection. Sarcasm can be playful but might confuse your true intentions, so a mix of sincerity and humor could work wonders. Approaching someone directly and openly can be refreshing and attractive. Being a bit vulnerable shows your true self, making you more approachable. Confidence, darling, is super attractive, even more than a little black dress.

Throw those fears of rejection to the wind like yesterday's curly fries! Let yourself shine, and remember, patience is key. 💕

[Berethor]

A girl with zero experience is a good thing, and you can try to met guys online.

[udeniz]

You should see Turkey, but I can tell you this: you are very emotionally conditioned, and you are still very young. There may be men who like you, but they are afraid of your character or that you will reject them.

[Asker]

How would they know if they never try

[udeniz]

There are some who cannot try it due to religious reasons.

[wkhan_87]

Don't think negative..
Just wait for right time and right person

[Anonymous]

Your very young. I'm older than you and in a similar situation. I haven't give up hope.

[Asker]

I don't know I feel like if I keep hoping I’ll just end up disappointing myself

[Opinion Owner]

You have to have hope, or you might miss opportunities due to a bad mind set.

[LiftingFencer]

20 is young, and having no experience is a plus. You know there are religious dudes in rural agricultural communities out there that would value you.

[Asker]

I’m sorry but I don’t live anywhere near agricultural communities 😂😂 but this doesn’t mean I’ll date anyone I’m just very lonely

[LiftingFencer]

Then date a guy… ?

[Asker]

I feel like you’re just trying to be mean. I don't know how that’s why I wrote this, plus, no one asks me out who do I date?

[LiftingFencer]

I’m not being mean, I tried to give you encouragement that not having experience at 20 is awesome and its a plus for most guys! Hold on to that until you find the right guy.

[Asker]

Okay but who do I date? Ask a guy out first?

[LiftingFencer]

Guys are scared to ask women out partly because of social media and the prevalence of high body counts! I understand the predicament, if you ask guys out they’ll have a difficult time believing you that you’re a virgin, well if they don’t believe thats on them, not your problem.

[LiftingFencer]

The fact you are lonely is a plus as well, you actually do have an idea of what its like to be lonely, just like 80% of guys in their early 20s do! Thats another plus.

[LiftingFencer]

I would say 90% of guys are loners today. I have nephews, kids, and friends/co-workers in their 20s

[Asker]

I don’t get it yk like why are guys these days becoming so conservative and without the chivalry at that. They whine about being lonely, then they’re fussy about body counts when most men have more than most women. Simultaneously, they judge women who ask them out? It sounds like they all wanna be the girls then who are going to be the guys? In fact they don’t even want women to be the “men”

[Asker]

But thank you anyway for this

[LiftingFencer]

No problem, yeah its complicated out there, social media and mass transportation have upset the natural psychology a bit/how the sexes behaved since forever is reaching a boiling point. Only top 95%+ looking dudes would have higher body counts or spoiled rich bad boys or drug dealers, its simply not the case for average guts versus average women today.

Anyways, good luck to you I’m sure you’ll be fine. Don’t give it up to just any guy and you will be destined for success and peace in life!

[Anonymous]

Maybe not.