Is it safe to say I am not meant for love 💔?

[LonelyTimes]

I am turning 28 in a few months, of course nearing my 30s, and I never had a real girlfriend before. I had some online things, but they all rejected me upon meeting in person for the first time. Meanwhile, I have watched all my former friends form serious relationships, get married, and most of them have kids now.

I am not the most attractive guy physically. I am short and overweight I admit. I am also "weird" to a lot of people. I am on the Autistic Spectrum and have mental health issues too.

I haven't touched a girl since I was 20 (back in June 2015). I lost my virginity then to a 16 year old girl who was supposedly a virgin too at the time. I have only had sex exactly once in my lifetime. I have never actually "made love".

It saddens me because all my life I always wanted to have a girlfriend, wife, and kids of my own.

Really, I am seeking a decently attractive woman without a romantic past, but my days are numbered finding that I feel. That is a deal breaker to me. I feel I would be lucky to even find a good woman who has never been married at this point

Yes

No

[Anonymous]

Why can't the woman have had a romantic past? The truth is, at 28, most girls aren't virgins. That doesn't mean they are spoiled goods. They have experience and know what they want. If they're not divorced and are childless, what's the problem?

Unless you go to church, you're unlikely to meet someone who matches your criteria. You need to think about why you want a woman without a "romantic past".

Meanwhile, you need to keep working on yourself and doing the things that make you happy. Take opportunities to make friends and connections, take care of yourself physically and mentally, and be confident in who you are.

Take it slowly and don't expect too much. Get out there and go with the flow. 28 is still young. You are still discovering who you are, and it should be fun to meet new people without any pressure.

Try to meet people offline by joining the gym or taking classes in something you're passionate about to learn a new skill - anything where you can meet people.

[Anonymous]

Chin up, work on yourself (especially in terms of getting fit). I have a couple of friends who have been unlucky in love, they’re popular and outgoing but they never managed to snag a girlfriend bc they’re too picky. One of them eventually decided to give this girl a shot (who doesn’t meet his weird ass criteria), they’ve been dating for over 3 years now and planning to get married.

[LonelyTimes]

Ah, yeah. I am set in stone on my criteria though. Something may or may not happen for me, who knows.

[Opinion Owner]

What would you do if you end up falling in love with a girl and then later down the line you found out that she’s had a romantic past?

I think you’re doing great tho, I read your responses that you’re accepting and learning to let this go - you’d have more time to focus on bettering yourself and usually when you’re not looking that’s when love comes knocking at your door

[mobiusforniner]

Dude, snap out of it. You're in a "oh woe is me" mentality. And you're wondering why you can't get a girlfriend... Dude, do you hear your balls calling for you? Because they're rusty and neglected.

DO SOMETHING. Find passion in your life and live it. Invest in yourself. Be proud of yourself. Define YOURSELF. The girl thing comes naturally. And the romantic past thing? It doesn't matter because when you meet and connect with that person, you'll know. She'll make you feel good and happy.

[LonelyTimes]

I think it is more that I am being more accepting of my circumstances than fighting against it. At least lately. Not long ago, I was miserable and had a major burden on my shoulders. I am trying to give it to God.
I am pretty much set in stone on my standards. I won't let a woman have the opportunity to get close to me if she has a romantic past. So, yeah...

[Static_In_The_Attic]

As for the future it isn’t been written yet & as for love it can kick you in the ass when you least expect it. Maybe you are not meant for love as of the moment however the future can change & love can be in your future.

[LonelyTimes]

I think, honestly, I have too many factors working against me. I may be surprised. But never having a girlfriend at age 27 when most high schoolers have more romantic experience than me kinda shows a lot.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

For starters fuck the factors that are working against you & live your own life my friend & when it comes to other high schoolers don’t compare your life to theirs or anyone else’s. Connections are all around us so start connecting with people & who knows maybe one of those connections will lead to love.

[Flower7]

Losing weight would be the best place to start. Out of the negatives you listed, that’s the only one you have control over. You can’t change your height or your autism, but maybe having a more fit body would help.

[LonelyTimes]

Maybe, but I also have a bad track record that is haunting me in my career and personal life. I recently lost my job over it. I have been unable to maintain stable employment. I think I have worked 20-something different jobs in my life ever since I was 15. I am moving out of my studio apartment back into my mom's house. I also am unable to get over a woman's romantic past, so I may end up alone in the end anyways. Even without my strict criteria, women in general do not show interest in me.

[Flower7]

As an alternative, is there any way you think you could find peace in the idea of staying single? Maybe you could still have fun in your life without constantly seeking romance.

[LonelyTimes]

They say being in love and having intimacy is one of the most joyous experiences in life. Sadly, I don't think I will ever experience that. I can only make the best of my circumstances and hope for the best.

[Avicenna]

Drop the idea of finding one without a romantic past. That's npt realistic at your age.

[LonelyTimes]

I have pretty much stopped trying with women at this point anyways. I was wanting me and a woman to be each other's first loves and first real relationship. I was so close to having that one time, but she rejected me when she finally met me. Sadly, she recently married a guy who got to be her first everything.

[VV3ZZY]

I get ya. I feel the same sometimes. But dont give up. It's just really hard with all this online dating app bs.

[LonelyTimes]

Are you experiencing the same situation as me?

[VV3ZZY]

Yeah I wish I could find a girlfriend lol

[LonelyTimes]

At least I am not alone knowing there are others out there in similar circumstances as me.

[VV3ZZY]

A lot of girls my age are like moms and have been divorced and stuff.. I'm like but. But.. but... I have a college degree! 🤣

[LonelyTimes]

Yeah, it is weird how it works that way. I have seen some guys and girls who really should have never had kids be able to have them, while ones who are more stable cannot.

[VV3ZZY]

Yeah almost like I have to learn to become more of an animal