Search Results: nice guys finish last

My personal life experiences, as well as conversations I’ve had with girlfriends lead me to believe that it’s mostly true.

I feel like my ex was emotionally abusive. I used to really be into her more than she was into me. She used tell me “I didn’t want this relationship, you did”. And when people would ask how we met she’d say “I didn’t wanna date him”. I explained to her how it hurts me when she says these things m. And she’d say “you’re just insecure”.

What’s even worse, she told me about how before we started dating. She went on dates with guys who she really liked and they rejected her. So am I the nice guy who finished last?

I used to be highly attracted to her. She never wanted sex with me, at the same time, complaining that her ex boyfriend didn’t want sex with her. She barely wanted to be affectionate with me.

Even worse, she used deliberately turn me on so she could sexually reject me. Would tell me “come over I’ll lick your balls and your butt” and refuse sex when I show up. Every single time we’d have an argument, even if it’s minor she’d say “you’re getting none”. So I started keeping silent to avoid conflict.

She used to complain that I’m not making her happy and give me reasons why. Which I’ll admit I’m not perfect, I know I have my flaws and bad habits, but. When I’d tell her what she’s doing to make me unhappy she’d reply “you knew I was a bitch when you met me”.

About 3 weeks ago we went to a Thanksgiving dinner at her friends house and I felt like she was kinda flirty with a guy. She seemed very touchy with him. I even saw her put her arm around him. I mentioned it to her a few days later. About how I was uncomfortable with how she behaved with him, and again. Told me “im insecure” and broke up with me. Denied ever putting her arm around him when I saw her do it.

It’s been a couple weeks and I’m still emotionally hurting over her. Haven’t been able to eat or sleep. Having nightmares and visions of her in bed with other men. I’ve dated and had sex with other women since. But I still can’t get her out of my head. What should I do?

I’m 23 and she is 22. We are both doing an international internship and work together, we’re both leaving at the end of August.

I can’t tell if she likes me or is just being nice. We’ve been out together (not just us) multiple times and the way she makes me feel is just nothing I’ve ever felt before. I found out that I might not work with her anymore due to certain reasons meaning she might have to leave. When I found out last Sunday it ruined my whole day and I still feel the sick-like feeling now.

On Monday we went out to drink at a rooftop bar. It was me, Person 2 (gay guy), Person 3 (girl), and her. I wanted to buy her a drink but decided to get everyone a shot to not make it weird. I was only planning to stop by quickly but she said she would buy me a drink at the next place they are going to, so I decided to stay. I was telling her about how work isn’t the same without her etc, and just catching up with her. Anyway, I stayed and went to the next place with her and the two other people, and we finished around 5am. Me and her were buying each other drinks all night. We actually went to a gay club as that was the closest. Whenever a guy tried dancing with me, she would get close to me and dance with me. When a girl tried dancing with her, I would try to do the same without being creepy as I don’t know if she feels the same way about me.

She had mentioned she wanted to get lunch with the group (the 4 people that went out). No one messaged in our group until like 2pm. Person 2 and 3 eventually said they were too tired to go out. I directly messaged the girl if she wants to grab some food. She told me that she’s at an appointment and can’t meet right away and that she’s also got dinner planned at 7pm.

How do I know if she likes me? I am so bad at stuff like this. I really like her and I don’t know whether should keep pursuing her. I haven’t directly said I like her because I don’t want to make things weird if she doesn’t feel the same.