Search Results: forgetting a guy

The phrase seems to be thrown around a lot and it's fair. Some people are just Doomed Eternally. The ones who have the right people around them to build them up. They better fuckin appreciate where they're at.

Feelings are are to find. I think to fight for happiness you'd have had to have it. Because I've honestly forgotten what that is really. I can smile for thank yous and laugh on other cues. But what is it, that they have. I wish we all knew what we were looking at. Otherwise it's not as important to you as it looks to be for others. It only hurts, that's all. Any happy there hurts. It isn't a big deal to hurt. I don't know why others freak if they're wounding up single. To know you'll never see that smile because it was you. You're buried because you let yourself die a thousand times. Every moment now feels like a lie, I don't want to see me either, because it's not me, I know it's not me here. I'm with them, we're laughing and smiling the fk out of one another. Everything in my head comes out with no apologies. "But the other guy seems so good for her, I'm just stuck in my head". She's there, she's open, she knows. "But she'll regret it". The voices are much more convincing as you get older.

Me (26) and my girl (25) been together over 6 years, first year we were together she cheated on me very cold heartedly. On New Years I was supposed to work the day after so I couldn't make it but my boss let me off last minute so I surprised her at the bar she was going to with her "friends" caught her rubbing her ass on a guy, beat the shit out of him & got kicked out & wait outside the bar 4 hours til it closed and she walked past me with him and went home with him, I went to her house to grab my shit and he answered her door in just underwear. Traumatic af. Day after she came to my house to apologize and for me to break up w/ her and while she was crying in my washroom I went through her phone (she'd cheated on me multiple times with multiple people & fucked him before I beat him up in his hotel room & also secretly had a STI, I tested and didn't have it). Broke up & I hated her for months. Got back together via seeing her at a bar and hooking up, I stated no guy friends, no going out past 1, no hotels w/out me. Years have past and things have been smooth & live together, she's in Law school now & ever since she got in Law school she has forgotten all my boundaries. She's going out to parties and friends houses until 5am, she went on a school trip to a big hotel (majority of the students in her class didn't go too) for over a week (wouldn't text me until the noon after every day) & she has a Mexican girls trip now planned for this summer. I don't want to control her, I feel silly enough and honestly our past haunts me & she knows this because I've made it extremely clear but I don't trust her in those situations and personally I feel like it's avoidable to stay out every weekend until 4-5am & I would be down to go on trips with her too. Is it fair boundaries that If she can't change her current habits of hers I've mentioned given out past or is that unfair?