So I broke up with a guy whom I have not started to date? How to get over this crazy bs? Please help and please don't be rude?

[Anonymous]

So there's this guy whom I have been talking to since like 2 months, we had a good chemistry, but he had a few red flags like for example we both belong to different religions (due to which he don't seem to think of a future with anyone belonging to another religion) and he was into the friends with benefits type of bs (although he never told me he was looking for that from me, he didn't want an actual relationship with anyone belonging to other religion), he also confessed to me that I am not the only girl he is talking to, he said to me "Yes, you are not the only girl I am talking to but you're the one whom I am investing more time to", so this literally threw me off because I kind of sorted out the reason and it's that I'm falling for him so before things got serious within me, I decided to tell him that we shouldn't be talking anymore, initially I thought that replying to his texts late or like ignoring him for some hours would be better then I thought f*** it , I am just not gonna play any games so I decided to be direct, this happened yesterday, when I said it he was very reluctant at first and told me that "this is too early , I don't wanna leave you, I don't wanna stop talking to you", etc anyway finally he kinda accepted my decision.

I know that he was gonna leave me some day (due to the religious thing we definitely have no future and he told me this), he also told me that he is physically attracted to me (so i know what he's looking for), I am just so done being at the recieveing end, so I left before he could leave me. But now I am struggling, I am literally so upset, I am unable to focus on studying/whatever I am doing, I am constantly checking my phone although I know he's definitely not gonna text. How can I just forget all this shit& concentrate on my own life? Please help me. I'm so done with fleeting relationships I am not someone to be in a friend's with benefits or hookup etc because I get attached to people so quick and so deep

[Lliam]

I know how much it hurts to leave someone you're attracted to. But you already know how the relationship was going to end, right?
The guy just wanted to use you. He is physically attracted to you, that's all. He's a player with hypocritical religious values.

You figured this out before you had too much invested. Good for you.

Relationships don't always work out and it can hurt when they don't. But you learn and move on.

The only way I ever got over longing was to stay busy. Focus on school and other things. And work on yourself.

Maybe write down your values and what qualities you want in a partner. Meet other guys with an open mind. They will all be different. Be willing to connect with them the way you did with this last guy. But, with your obvious ability to discern, also be willing to move on if they aren't right for you. I did that until I met the lady I married.

Don't stress. You will eventually meet the right guy for you.

[Asker]

Thank you so much. I've been dating since 19 and I just turned 25 recently. Over this course of my transition to the mid twenties from my early twenties, I am unable to be in a stable relationships, the first relationship that I got into after turning 20 lasted for 3 yearsbut it was extremely toxic and only meant to end I just delayed the end until I was 24. And as a 25 year old, I feel that it's time to end looking for love because of all the mess I've been through. Maybe it's just not meant to be.

[Lliam]

I had girlfriends from the time I was 16, but had no intention of getting married. I just wasn't ready. I had some really great girlfriends, though.
In my early 30s, I finally started thinking about finding a life partner, getting married, and starting a new chapter in my life.

When I was 34, I lived with one gorgeous 30 year old for several months. She was great at first, but turned out to be the worst girlfriend I ever had.

When I was 36, I met a 30 year old. We wound up living together for almost two years. She is the first women I ever truly loved (not merely infatuation), and she loved me. Unfortunately, it turned out that we could not be life-long partners. We separated of for reasons that are complicated but had nothing to do with cheating or anything mean. We still loved each other.

Being without her was the greatest pain I have ever experienced. It took me a year to pull myself together and get on with life.

When I was 40, I met my (future) wife. We entered into an exclusive relationship for a year before I asked her to be my wife. We got married a year later.

We've been married now for almost 27 years, had a LOT of fun, and built a wonderful life together.

So don't worry about age. You are still very young. Don't give up. You'll find the right guy.

[BoopBoopBeep]

He told you he's attracted to you and that's a bad thing, but if he said you were an ugly fatass you'd be pissed off about it. Get help.

[Asker]

I never said that he being attracted to me is a bad thing. Please read it before you comment nonsense, or if you don't wanna read it, please keep your nonsense to yourself and scroll on.

[BoopBoopBeep]

"he also told me that he is physically attracted to me (so i know what he's looking for)"

[Asker]

I meant that he is only looking for sex not a relationship, isn't it like a hookup or friends with benefits? That's why I put those in brackets.

[BoopBoopBeep]

No you're overthinking that. I've told everyone I've ever been on a date with that I'm physically attracted to them (well unless they did something so stupid it killed any attraction). If I wasn't physically attracted to them I wouldn't be there, I'd be with someone I AM physically attracted to. Or at a minimum it wouldn't be a date it would be two friends handing out.

[Asker]

Yes I understand what you're trying to say. The reason why I said what I said was that he clearly told me he's not looking for a relationship from anyone other than someone who belongs to his religion, which means he's only into friends with benefits or hookups from people who don't belong to his religion. Ofcourse, I would be happy to know that a guy is attracted to me physically as well because like you've said it should only be a friendship if there's no physical attraction.

[MsProsperity]

If you still want to talk to him, text him or call him. Don’t be too hard on yourself. If you are really done with him, block him everywhere and don’t stalk him. You’re the only one who knows what you want, follow your heart hey

[Asker]

I know he's not good for me , it's like I'm just so upset because of the sudden shortage of that dopamine supply that I felt when I was texting him. I do remember how it cheered me up all day when I used to recieve his text. I'm not sure if I am being too hard on myself. Thanks for your advise

[Goahead76]

I feel bad, I hope you find someone better. 😕

[Asker]

Thank you