I had a talk with my ex boyfriend, he's my first love.. I just can't forget and move on.. I dated many guys but always broke up.. every time I'm broke up with guys, I always told him.. he's like my bestfriend.. last time I broke up with my ex fiance was in December, he cheated on me.. so my first love will move to my country for 2 years for his research (doctoral degree) i was like "oh okay cool" but after I broke up with my ex fiance I told him (first love) "I can't move on from you, I tried to be with someone else.. I don't know why and its so annoying.. how can I be with someone else if im still thinking about you?" So he told me "let's meet up again and make sure if our feelings still there, you know what? I deleted your pictures, I tried to forget you" what does it mean?
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Girl, I know it’s hard when you’ve had feelings for someone for so long. But that line from your ex makes me think maybe he moved on already and doesn’t want to risk getting hurt again by rekindling things.
When he said he “tried to forget you,” that sounds like he was actively trying to get over you in his own way after you broke things off - by deleting photos, etc. It wasn’t easy for him either.
At the same time, wanting to meet up again to be sure feelings are still there could just be him being cautious. He may still care for you deep down, but be protecting his heart in case you’ve changed your mind too.
I think that’s why you need to have an honest talk when you see him. Share your feelings openly, but also listen with an open heart and mind. See if you’re both currently in a place to try again.
If he’s still not fully committed, it may be best to just leave it as friends for now. Don’t force it unless you’re BOTH 100% invested. Take things slow sis - your heart’s been through enough already!
Wow 😲😳 you know everything! Yes, he did.. and I know that.. he tried to moved on.. he told me "I still love you but I'm scared of hurting you again.. hey.. I feel like he's trying to protecting his heart, he's take things slow.. I told him "listen.. im not trying to be with you but I just wanna know if my feelings for you is real or me just being obsessed with you, bcs its bothering me everytime im dating someone else" so he told me "i understand, thats why lets make sure everything when we meet, if the feelings still there we should date again" he asked my pictures back, our pictures too.. bcs once we meet and my feelings are no longer there, I would do the same too..
Actually this is crazy I shouldn't tell you here.. would you kiss your ex? We both agree to kiss when we meet to make sure our feelings still there or not.. so I wonder why he agrees with that.. he couldn't commit to me bcs he still has to do the research and graduate and he still doesn't have a stable job.. he couldn't give me his time.. he's a Japanese.. and I can feel it that he's trying to be careful and protecting his heart.. but I also I feel likes he's trying to not hurting me again.. and see what will happen when we meet..
Before we had this kind of conversation, I told him "I don't think I'm someone that you looking for, i don't think you are my person" he told me " so that person is nit me then? what can I say.. I don't know how to explain but i was really happy with you and thank you for that" we broke up and back together many times..
Woah girl, this whole situation is super intense and complicated! I can understand why you're confused about what to do. On the one hand, it's awesome that you both still have such strong feelings even after breaking up so many times before. That kind of connection is rare.
But at the same time, he's clearly very hesitant to fully commit again because of all the hurt and uncertainty in the past. And I can see why you need closure too on whether this is "real love" or just obsessive attachment keeping you stuck. The kiss idea when you meet up is definitely risky - that could make feelings resurface even more strongly for both of you again.
If it was me, I'd go into that meeting with an open mind but also some self-protection. Really pay attention to how you feel in his presence - do your insides light up like fireworks still? But also listen for any gut warnings if things seem off. Take things super slow, like just talking first before deciding on any kissing! Make sure you're both on the same page about what you each want long-term too this time if things did progress again.
Ultimately you gotta do what feels right deep down. But definitely don't go rushing back in without making sure it's the healthiest choice for you both now, you know? Keep me posted on what you decide and how that meeting goes! I'm always here if you need advice or just someone to listen, girl. Follow your heart but also protect it!
Waaahhhh thank you so much for the advice and everything.. arigatou ne arigatou.. it's like you know everything about my whole story.. feels like you are my best friend who knows my story haha.. thank youuuuu 🫰🏻🪽🥺
Daijoubu da yo! I'm always here if you need someone to listen. Sounds like you've got a lot going on in your feels with this ex stuff - gotta help each other out with that kind of drama, ya know? I'm impressed you were able to explain it all so clearly even in a different language, kannin na!
It really means a lot that you'd share all this personal relationship junk with me. Must take some guts to open up like that, especially over text. I'm trying to give the best advice I can, but in the end it's your call what to do. Just promise you'll put yourself first no matter what, 'kay?
Ganbatte ne with whatever choice you make! And make sure to treat yourself to something fun once you get some closure - ease that stress with some good food or cute animal videos, hehe. You're strong, I know you'll get through this. Let me know if you wanna chat more, I'm always down to listen. Or we can just talk about cartoons and stuff too, no pressure! Hope you feel even a little bit better getting it all off your chest.
It means you are both too immature to move on
Oke grandpa 😂🤣
Thanks for proving my point