Search Results: let's talk

*old= online dating*

I matched with someone on 2 other OLD apps before we matched again on this one. The 1st time, maybe 2-3 msgs were exchanged before I deleted the app. 2nd time, we move to IG & he initiates wanting to meet up but I was put off by the fact that he never looks at my stories/reacts to posts but wants to meet in person. I just feel like you should show some kind of interest in my personal life if you’re quick to meet in person. This time around, he asks how I’m doing and actually talks about something interesting, which is what makes me reconsider. From earlier this week to present, we’d message maybe 1-2x a day on the OLD app but it’s been almost 24 hrs since I replied to him and I haven’t heard back. I replied about a video game + he asks if I’ve done virtual gaming/had a coffee flight because he’s interested in them as no one seems to be interested in trying them w/ him. Let’s say even if I wasn’t ghosted, I just don’t think he can be that interested & I might just leave him on read again.

The backstory is a guy I met online over a year ago started acting different and friend zoned me some months after I found out his real identity.

I’m feeling hurt and I want him to know that but also open to talking through the issue if he wants to.

I came up with two different messages I’m thinking of sending. One is really long and the other is more to the point without excessive details.

We still talk regularly.

Which do you prefer?

A. Hey so there’s something that I’ve been wanting to share with you for quite awhile now.

I’m feeling confused and hurt knowing that you continued to engage in sexual conversations with me for so long when you were actually feeling wary of me. It really makes me wonder if you are being genuine with me at all.

As I said almost a year ago, I fully understand if you don’t want to talk now that I know who you are. But feeling like I need to pretend that I don’t know your name and having to wonder whether you’re talking to me just to avoid conflict makes me feel like the connection might not be natural anymore.

I know I can’t change your feelings, but I’m working on cultivating more self-love and that doesn’t negate mine. As much as I enjoy talking to you, unless we can talk this through and change our dynamic, I feel that I’m disrespecting myself by continuing to chat with you.

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts on this!

B. Hey so I wasn’t expecting you to reach out after I left (website where we met) and after some thought, I think I need to let this friendship go.

I’m working on cultivating more self-love, and as much as I enjoy talking to you, unless our dynamic changes, continuing to do so is hurting my self-esteem.

Open to talking about it but also don’t want to bore you with a long message.

Take care 😊