Search Results: not feel so hurt

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family of 3

mother earns 50 /hour

sometimes 59/hour

works full time, many times even picks up overtime because she has free babysitting.
spends minimal time with her 2 children because she knows there’s always someone watching her kids who she trusts

father earns less but has a promising future because of inherited business

they were given a home they didn’t have to buy, they don’t pay rent only regular bills like water/ power.

she deprives him of sex for years but the random time they finally have it she gets pregnant.

she voices out that she doesn’t want more kids. that they have debt & want to be able to giver EVERYTHING to their 2 current children.
bringing another child would make it impossible to be taking their two children around the world to enjoy activities from other states & countries

they agree to terminate the pregnancy

2 days later she finds out he had sex with another woman & has a lot of naked videos of other women

he admits his fault & agrees he fucked up but wants to fix the situation

he says he went astray because she was not giving him any sex for a very long time. any attempt to try was rejected repeatedly

she refuses to explain why she was not giving him sex. voices out that she is happy she got rid of the new baby because how can she have another child of this cheater!

she is hurt and feels humiliated

later we discover she had deleted messages of sexual talk with another man from months ago. She gaslit her partner into thinking that that is not cheating because it’s not physical

He wants to fix things, asks for forgiveness

she says she cannot forgive

he says he’s trying to save the family in spite of the errors because nobody is perfect and he only did it because he felt abandoned and Lonley to the point that even she referred to him as a roommate

she says he ruined the family with his actions

he says he committed an error but wants to keep the family together

who is right?

I have two friends: both are 40, have chosen the single life for years. One is a guy, he was friends with a girl in her early 30’s for a year and dated her casually for a year before he finally decided she was the one and asked her to be his girlfriend. After one year of seriously dating, he proposed marriage at Christmas. They married two months later. He’s a guy, we’ll call him Ryan. Him taking his time is fine.

The other friend is a woman (we’ll call her Tara), she’s been “seeing” a guy (also 40) for at least 9 months. They haven’t labeled it yet, every time I ask her when she’s labeling the relationship she always says “we’re taking our time with it, keeping it casual and just being friends first”. I love Tara, but she’s out of her freakin mind. I demanded my boyfriend to define the relationship after 5 months. Tara does want this guy, but she just lives in her own little shell and won’t demand what she wants. She just sits back lets things happen and says she wants him to define it in his own time (I told her drop his ass if he doesn’t define it at the end of this month).

It’s fine that Ryan took his time. He’s a guy and it’s more socially accepted for him to put off relationships and marriage. For women I don’t understand it though. I feel like when we go that route, we get used, we get our time wasted and we get hurt. I think Tara is making a huge mistake, but my boyfriend says she’s not. What if she defines the relationship and then decides she doesn’t like him after all (that’s his logic). Maybe because I’m also dying to matchmake her and there’s a friend of my bf’s who I want her to meet (because he’s dying to date her and I think they’re perfect for each other).