Search Results: why no dates

I hope that my question is chosen as great since I really can use so much support right now.

We are renewing our vows but I would enjoy a courthouse wedding. I don't wanna spend thousands of dollars right now on a huge wedding. Especially not right now, but maybe down the road. My husband and I would love to go to the courthouse to renew our vows. Nevertheless, family members that have been cut off expect an invite still. His mom, siblings, nieces, and nephews are the only ones going to be present. I want a small family only wedding.

While my spouse was away for work, people treated me with disgust and ruined every aspect of my character. My husband was well-known in our neighborhood, but he kept his personal and professional lives apart. He did not bring his real life outside of the home.

We live in a small gossiping community where everyone wants to know your business, and if they don't know anything about your life or you're not a member of their so-called "clique," they'll spread rumors. I stay at home and keep to myself, but that's not enough. This town will continue to spread rumors with "I heard". People in this town will say "Oh, I heard that his water is cut off" if you pee in a garbage can with no one around you. You can go to the store and mind your own business. As soon as you arrive home, someone is going to call you and say, "Girl, I heard you were in the store spending so much money; how are you doing?"

There are people that live in our community that you haven't seen ever before. It is hard to date people here because the gossipers wanna control that as well. The community we live in makes it hard to live here unless they know your business.

I just wanted to express why I want a closed private wedding. I want to live my life in this community without the community interfering with my life and destroying it.

So I was kicked out of a group for exposing a man and people felt that I was “bitter” and called me “crazy” for speaking my truth on this man. It was a very invalidating experience.

Let me be clear on why I’m exposing him…

1. He did not respect my boundaries when it came to having sex and ended trying to use manipulation. I made it clear to him before we exchanged numbers that I wasn’t in a space to have sex or be in a relationship. He kind of wanted to know why etc and he wasn’t pushy.. but he said things he felt I NEEDED to hear… and at first I’m thinking wow maybe he is genuine and understanding. Looking back it was hard to see his “coercive behavior…” to get what he wanted and wanted to gain my trust. Even saying how can I make you feel safe

2. Subtle changes in behavior after telling him that I wanted to take things slow with him and gaslighting.. I did end up liking him and when I said that… that’s when it started taking hours for him to respond and then it went to days… only to get a “sorry really busy”…. But it kept happening and I confronted him and he tried to say that I needed to “heal”….. but it was strange behavior coming from a man who was trying to make me feel “safe” initially…

3. Disrespect… (devalue/discard) everything was cool on the date at first but then he became disrespectful and rude… he started asking when I last had sex, dildos, negging behavior and some insults.

4. Not being honest about his real name even on the date.. I asked him if “Craig” was his real name and he said yes… I get you want to protect yourself but he really did not want to tell me his name and seemed annoyed when I asked. It was very fishy

5. After the “date” i tried finding a “gf”…. Bc i felt like he was talking to someone.. he has no social media presence and keeps things private

6. He is possibly bisexual or closeted based on some things I found