Search Results: making out with a girl

30F and I don’t think I’ll ever shake my core belief that any decently presentable lady has no prob finding a man, a pretty girl well forget about it. I’m very reserved, I’ve always been but was *friendlier* in my early twenties, now I’m borderline antisocial. I always blamed growing up overweight as the reason why I didn’t get attention from guys/wasn’t popular, I lost weight in my early twenties and have maintained my weight loss since (still slim thick). Again, this weight loss didn’t change the attention I got from guys & I was a bit more sociable back then.

I’m told I’m attractive (from all kinds of people for most of my life & not only family/friends) & the only times attractive guys take initiative are on dating apps. And apps are absolute trash as we know, guys I’d find attractive in person have never made it known to me directly. It’s always that RARE occasion where I think one is maybe making eye contact or someone I knew pointed out a guy was looking at me/word of mouth this or that guy found me attractive etc. Then on dating apps, I’d have guys that I initially considered *potential* eventually showing interest in me (asking out etc) after I got to know them a bit more and I just find a way to dip out.

Im so conflicted. I feel invisible & when a guy appeals to me in some way on a dating app (which should be taken with a grain of salt), I just can’t be bothered for whatever the reason is for me at that moment. It’s apathy/anxiety/self sabotage/confusion etc?

30F either DA or FA, want to say I’m some kind of avoidant. Based on life experiences, are these pretty tell tale signs I’m probably…well not attractive? I’ve always questioned how almost every pretty woman I’ve come across is always in a relationship with an equally attractive guy. When I was chubby younger, I thought losing weight would solve everything and it hasn’t. I feel like regardless of what anyone else says, I’ll always wholeheartedly believe attractive women have no issue finding a partner & they have life easier. I’ve been told I’m attractive by a variety of people for most of my life, even when I was chubby. I’m not thin, 5’7 women’s US 10 so midsize but I have that thicker thigh/flatter stomach build. The only time I get attention from guys I find attractive are on dating apps and that’s not telling in my opinion. I’ve been told this guy looked at me/this guy found me attractive from other people but the guy never makes it known to me. And there’s been very very few times where I would see an attractive guy making eye contact with me or at least caught my gaze but I just look away b/c I don’t see the point. I’m anxious/reserved but a lot of people with anxiety are in fulfilling relationships.

Last thing I’ll add was being bullied pretty badly as a kid, again I was chubby so I know this played a part. Worse in middle school, I didn’t have to be homeschooled but it still sucked really freaking bad. And in HS but not as extreme as middle school, HS was more mean girls if anything. As an adult at old jobs, I did have confrontation/clashing w/personalities too. And let’s not forget shit bosses. Since I’ve worked remotely for the past few years, I haven’t had drama with coworkers or mgmt. Let’s hope it stays that way, I’ve had to deal with toxic family members too but that’s a thing of the past.

I’M SO CONVINCED THESE THINGS DON’T HAPPEN TO ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE