Is he taking it slow or avoiding commitment?

[Anonymous]

Hi all, we are both in our mid 30s (him 37, me 35) and both have competitive professional jobs. We have been dating (exclusive relationship) for nearly a year. I have been open that I am only looking for a serious relationship leading to marriage, which he assures me he wants to.

We have met each other's families, friends and colleagues (at his request). He initiates texting, calling and hanging out the majority of the time, and said "I love you" first.

But it just feels like we have been doing the same thing for a year, seeing each other 1-2 times per week. The relationship doesn't feel like it's moving forward. I have asked him what he needs to feel ready and don't get a clear cut answer, I have asked him if he wants to take a break to think about what he wants (which he has refused) and I have asked him to commit to a timeframe (which he says is 2 years or less).

My thoughts are that at this age, a guy should know, and if he is delaying making a decision, it makes me concerned that there is another girl and THAT is the reason he's being vague. He can choose whatever he wants but I feel like he is not being straightforward with me. My family and friends are also raising an eyebrow at the time.

SO TLDR, what are the signs that a man is taking it slow vs stringing you along?

[Lynx122]

I don't think there is another woman I think you're just putting a lot of pressure on him. I can't know how exactly he feels or what he's thinking but his schedule is probably just not as quick as yours. You have been together for less than a year and you don't even have much time to see each other so it probably feels to him like you're more just after being married rather than marrying him. What exactly are the steps between where the relationship is now, and getting married that you're hoping to see and that haven't happened yet? It feels like there's a lot of strain on this relationship and it's not progressing organically it's more like you're sitting there, counting the minutes, with a checklist of what you expect and waiting for him to check off the boxes that you want him to check.

It doesn't sound very fun from the guys point of view tbh.

But good luck to you both.

[Nikki1989]

If he is hot and cold, sometimes very attentive and other times distant, it is time to ask him to man up, or you will move on without him.