I have Kids but can't date women with kids anymore?

[Anonymous]

Kinda long but this is a GOOD one. I promise.

Boy meets Girl (very briefly). We both have kids (mine 3, hers 10 and 12). Nonetheless she invites me straight over to her house. Great! maybe I'll get laid. what could possibly go wrong.

She already lived almost an hour away, and on the way over she texts and asks me to bring Duncan coffee and donuts. Annoying, but I do it.

For the next 30 minutes after arriving, I was accosted by the biggest, fattest, ugliest, slobberiest, horniest pitbull I have ever seen. Yet when I finally got away from it, this woman;s ten year old daughter followed us all over the house and sat in between the two us and would NOT. SHUT. UP.

I even texted her, trying not to be rude, saying (is there anywhere we can go to talk and chill, like just us?) to which she replied "lololz no probably not". It was damn near impossible to even escape to my car because this stupid kid wouldn't shut the hell up.

at first she had mentioned people ghosting her, so I texted her after I left to convey that maybe people are trying to date you, not your freakin kids, to which she said "no worries! you're the first person who's ever made it awkward, I totally see why you're still single too <3"

Oh, great. So if I decided I wanted to lean in for a kiss, is your 10 year old daughter just gonna jump in on that and start making out with both of us too?

Like, WHAT in the ACTUAL F*ck kind of "free door dash delivery guy-turned-stepdad" fantasy world of yours did I just walk in to where this is ok?

Is it not mutually understood that people who like you want to date YOU, not your freaking kids? Was it really so much for her to tell the little sh*t to scram for 30 minutes?

I wish shed have just texted beforehand "my kids are my world and always come first" like all the other delusional single moms out there so I could have just politely said "Thanks, bye!" and saved myself 10 bucks on donuts and 20 on gas.

Newsflash, y'all still single bc no one wants to be a 3rd wheel

[Zack-Bann]

Golden rule:
First date with a single mom: neutral ground (no kids in the vicinity)
Second date: same thing
Etc until you reach boyfriend status then you get awkwardly introduced to the kids and refer to them as “champ” to make sure they are traumatized for life


But the idea of driving over to a stranger’s place to chill with her and her kid is just a recipe for failure


Ideally invite her to your place
(You can even pay for her uber with the money you would’ve spent going to hers if you’re feeling generous)
But a date at your place is somewhere that you control the narrative.
You pick the lighting, the music, the drink, the smell.

[Asker]

Yeah all of that I thought pretty much everyone knew. Thing is, the kids weren't even supposed to be there, they were SUPPOSED to be at their neighbors birthday party or something. If I had this woman over she's the type that would have texted and said "hey I'm 5 minutes away, by the way my daughter's coming with me". And then it would have been even more awkward.

[CB-Raido-Time]

I completely disagree the children are just as much a part of the relationship as the parent and they should be introduced right away because if there is a mismatch somewhere the children don't approve of whomever then there is no point in pursuing any relationship. And if one was to get involved without the children included and there is a mismatch there would be future heartache and the children ALWAYS come first rather they are yours of theirs.

[Zack-Bann]

If you’re not even sure you like the adult it’s too early to create an entire relationship with their child.

Kids shouldn’t be introduced to every Tom Dick or Harry that has a glass of wine with their mom, it’s not healthy.

For everyone’s sake better to take things in gradual steps

[art84]

Reminds me of my brother who has four children and he dated a girl with three children. Those three children are always following my brother and his sons around the house and talk a lot. I don't know how he does though probably cause he has two daughters who are similar ages. I think in your situation the women's children will always be there and won't go away for your alone time with her. Either have to accept that her children come first before any guy. I don't have children but if I dated a girl with children, I would find it annoying if they were everywhere we went in the house.

[Asker]

thank you! yeah like I know its not the kids fault that she has a crazy mom who clearly subjects her to weird situations (as this woman has clearly done this before). But it seems like if you can't just get a babysitter or something (like I did) for a couple of hours so you can hang out with someone on a FIRST MEET, then you need to accept you're better off on your own.

[CB-Raido-Time]

Those children needed someone to be there for them they needed love and attention all children do and children should always come first rather yours or theirs.

[Anonymous]

And you’re single because you’re a mean, rude piece of shit who calls other peoples kids shit, stupid and goes online to post angry disgusting rants about kids and women because you didn’t like how a date went. What normal, sane person does that? Clue: Nobody. And then then you’re upset these womens kids comes first to them.. Like YEAH! Your kids are supposed to come first! I’m not saying that she was right to allow her child to sit there between you and talk to entire time but your attitude is garbage and says enough about you as a person. The fact you claim to be a parent yourself is scary. I feel sorry for your kid.

[Asker]

you must have never encountered an angry anon that puts their repressed thoughts on the internet. Heads up: there's a lot of us.

[KrakenAttackin]

Run through single mom spotted.

[Flower7]

This is something that’s specific to her. This situation is not common. Other women with kids would prefer to have privacy on your dates and would find a way to make that happen.

[Asker]

this one was definitely a first. but its just the latest in a string of events that all involved single moms doing something weird or crazy. obviously the post was a rant, but I treat dating with kids no differently than having a demanding job. Of course my time will be limited, but when I am together with someone I like, they get ME, and my full attention.

[Anonymous]

Dude. . .

So many thoughts about this. But the first (and probably most important) is that you CLEARLY don't have a good system set up for meeting women and getting dates.

How do I know this? Because if you did, you wouldn't be NEARLY so upset about this date not working out. I mean, you'd have been unlikely to go an HOUR out of your way for this "date" if you actually were meeting and attracting girls and getting dates. Because if you get THAT right, then far from being upset, you'd have just thanked her for the "great" date and gone off to get your dick sucked by someone else in your little black book.

Don't worry about laying down "rules" like "I can't date women with kids." Worry about filling your dating life so that it just doesn't matter.

[Asker]

I hate to say it but you're right. I do ignore red flags if the woman is hot enough. I live in a rural area and its difficult to meet eligible singles in the first place so if I started narrowing my parameters Id end up with no dates at all. This is exactly why guys end up lowering their standards.

[Opinion Owner]

It's all good man. The first part of making things better is figuring out where they're going wrong. Being in a rural area definitely makes it tough. Any chance you can get yourself closer to a city? Or maybe a college town? It took me forever to figure this out, but it really IS just a numbers game. And the funny thing is, once you have a few options, you end up being so chilled on any given date that you end up radiating a MUCH better energy and your chances of success on each date go way up.

[Asker]

I've driven into the closest city to seek out all of these opportunities including this one and I don't know if it's me and the type of person I attract but it's just been one weird situation after another trying to date single moms. So I'm just gonna have to invest in some age reversal therapy or something and start dating younger women who aren't loaded with baggage.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah--if you can go younger, do it. Always more fun and hotter too!

[CB-Raido-Time]

You are right about the pit bull I think it should be lot illegal to have them around children but HIGHLY illegal. That aside one of your mistakes was expecting to get between the sheets with her you were expecting that when it sounds like you didn't even really know her much less being married to her. As far as her child you see her child as in your way and she if anything would be the apple of my eye.

That is because I love children I always have I valued them more than a relationship and if there were anything at all that would have made me go back to dating it would have been for not having children they would have been the only reason.

I will admit your article did make me laugh toward the end of it though change your expectations and if you don't love their children stay out of relationship.

[red-lipstick-girl]

I feel sorry for you, it's humiliating, but the only thing I'm wondering is why you think about money and don't calculate gas, what the woman did was disrespectful.

[Unit1]

What did we learn here? Ugly and fat women with multiple kids get men too. Imagine being just an average girl.

[Asker]

The sad part is she was actually hot (*sheds a single tear).

[ItsJill]

To me it sounds like a call to CPS is in order.

[Asker]

Dude for real. I honestly wasn't mad at the kid (the post was a rant). She was clearly just coping with the fact that her mom is insane and probably puts her in all kinds of bad situations.

[Anonymous]

By the sounds of it, you shouldn't have kids yourself. Not parent material at all.

[Asker]

Thanks! A+ advice here. Ill just give my child away since the court of public opinion has revoked my custody.

[LiamJHayden]

Well that is of course your choice, but I would not judge all because of this bad experience.