Search Results: how do you know if a guy is into you

30f and I really can’t tell if I’m inevitably single because I don’t want a relationship or it’s a case of self sabotage. Within the past few years, the only attention I’ve gotten from attractive guys were on dating apps. But that should be taken with a grain of salt, I feel like compared to the average woman, I don’t get attention from quality guys in person. I’m pretty shy and tend to speak when spoken to, on top of bad anxiety, I’ll say I question if women can relate to my lack of sex drive. I haven’t had sex since my early twenties/don’t masturbate and couldn’t care less if I died a virgin, will feel some kind of way if I’ve never found love though.

It’s as if I want the reassurance I’m desirable (from what seems like decent men) vs actually going out on dates, I’m insecure but wouldn’t just go for anyone that gives me the time of day. I just don’t get why it can’t ever go my way w/ the OLD apps, it’s likely bad luck but a pattern of: ghosting, fizzling out, the convo not flowing to my expectations & I dip out, just lack of interest (can go both ways) etc. I’m attracted to men, I really don’t think id date a woman but something about men at the same time turns me off (physically & personality wise). Like almost every woman I've known has been boy crazy since they were pre-teens and I never got it, I thought they were exaggerating or I was a late bloomer. Well here I am 2 decades later, my closest thing to boy crazy were celebrity crushes.

Am I looking for excuses to justify being single? Is it simply a case of being unlucky? Is there more to unpack here? Or is the right guy all it takes for it to fall into place?

I matched with someone on 2 other OLD apps before we matched again on this one. The 1st time, maybe 2-3 msgs were exchanged before I deleted the app. 2nd time, we move to IG & he initiates wanting to meet up but I was put off by the fact that he never looks at my stories/reacts to posts but wants to meet in person. I just feel like you should show some kind of interest in my personal life if you’re quick to meet in person. This time around, he asks how I’m doing and actually talks about something interesting, which is what makes me reconsider. From earlier last week to this past weekend, we’d message maybe 1-2x a day on the OLD app but it was 24 hrs before he replied again to me. He answers my question & asks if I’d be interested in doing some kind of activity with him. Tbh, I’m busy this weekend & would consider the next but I don't know if he’d buy that.