Married but feeling lost. What do I do?

[Anonymous]

I am with my husband for 8 years. We have children together and I married him with the thought that we would be together forever. Before I met my husband, there was a guy and I used to flirt a lot. We lost touch for a few years. This guy ended up later moving to my home town but by then my now husband (then boyfriend) and I were rock solid. Fast forward years later, this guy is married to someone else and I am with my husband. We have kids the same age at the same school. I see him often and he is constantly smiling at me. A mutual friend told me that he has heard him talking about me obsessively as well. He is always going places he knows I will be and it always looking for ways to get my attention. I was kinda blind about it at first but I now see him staring at me and smiling or looking me up and down. At first I just started crushing on him for his looks but my feelings have turned into real feelings. I haven't felt in love with my husband for a few years and I feel stuck. I want to just be happy and live my life the way I imagined it to be. I feel so depressed and I feel like the most horrible wife for having feelings for someone else and stupid because this other guy is too shy to even talk to me. I feel like a fool and a terrible person. I can't control how I feel. I just want to be happy but I'm afraid.

[SteveSmith1985]

You should have divorced your husband when you stopped loving him. I have no sympathy for you. I feel so much for your husband.

So you deserve to be happy AT HIS EXPENSE? And you cared about your husband at one point.

This is disgusting. In the literal sense. I am disgusted by you, and this whole thing.

You're obviously a terrible wife. Look at what you just wrote and try and tell me that's anything else.

Divorce your fucking husband. He thinks you love him.

What are you looking for here, permission to cheat? Because you want to?

Goddamn, you are literally my nightmare. Meeting a woman like you, marrying her, and having her turn out unfaithful like you. A nightmare. Literally.

We all know you're going to cheat. You know it too.

Why don't you let your husband know you don't want to be with him anymore, then you can do whatever you want. Hurting someone who trusts you not to... After all that's happened between you two (whatever that may be)... you don't give a shit about his feelings?

I don't know what you're looking for from responses here.

Be honest with the man who trusts you, about no longer loving him.

You are selfish, disgusting, and the worst sort of person. Betraying a promise to be faithful to someone you love. Someone who trusts you. There isn't much worse than that.

Get a goddamn divorce.

[Anonymous]

I started reading this feeling bad for your husband, but I ended feeling bad for you. I say that because I think it'll lend lore credence to KY following points.

That being, you don't deserve to feel bad or wrong or anything of that nature. You're not a bad person for having feelings. Feelings aren't an option. How you act due to those feelings however are.

I'm not expert in this field, and as much as I'd like to I don't have any advice. But I just want you to know that while I understand your negative feelings, you don't deserve to have them. Frankly, I have a great deal of respect for you because you clearly have a conscience and consideration for the other people in your life. You're not selfish or self-serving. You're considerate.

And while it may be obvious, this is definitely something you'll want to think long and hard about. Some people leave their husband's and never look back, while others regret it.

Either way, best of luck. And do your best to keep your head up. You seem like a good person.

[Finchie40]

I been in your shoes and I know the feeling , feel free to inbox me and I can give ya some advice on what to do

[Coolguy74]

You should probably just speak to your husband. Relationships get stale all the time and it is extremely common and normal/expected to a degree. It does appear that you have a want to explore other relationships, which is also common, but that itself is probably causing a rift in your relationship with your husband. It is a two way street in a relationship, and from what you said, it would appear that your side of it is too busy leaning towards others and is not working on that two way relationship. A word of advice, get that other guy our of your life ASAP (he is married anyways), and work on getting your relationship back on track. You married the guy thinking it was forever, maybe consider that you might be causing the problems more than the other way around?

[Staximus]

Why do you not feel in love with your husband anymore?

[Asker]

He is always stressed, sometimes he will say mean things to me for no reason and I just don't feel attracted to him. We never have sex and I just feel alone.

[Staximus]

Why is he always stressed?

[Staximus]

Have you asked him why he says mean things to you?

[seeyounexttuesday]

You’re fucking stupid to ruin your children’s life because your pussy is wet.

[Asker]

It's more than that. I would never cheat on my husband. What I am asking is what to do when I feel out of love and don't have that spark with my husband anymore. Our marriage is stale and I frankly have felt this way for years and have stayed to keep from hurting my kids and him and all it has done is make me extremely depressed and unhappy.

[seeyounexttuesday]

You are 100% intending to cheat on your husband. The fact you’re allowing yourself to be put into a situation to flirt with this guy and have a. “Crush” on him tells me you’re just waiting for opportunity and an excuse.

If your marriage is stale, it’s your responsibility to reignite the spark.

[jahaims]

You're trash. Too emotionally immature for a healthy relationship

[Anonymous]

Divorce