Search Results: acting on a guy

A guy I was casual with started acting differently for the last couple of days I was with him - he put less emphasis on sex, and wanted to take long walks, talk, wach a movie together, cuddle... We also talked about our values, ideal partner and vision of the future, and we're really compatible. I would take this as him liking me.

BUT, this was the first time I experienced "slow love /like". So despite showing clear signs of liking him, I was so focused on not being in love that I thought I had no romantic interest in him, and told him that. When I came back home, he ghosted.

I asked if everything was okay, still no reply, but he kept tabs on me by viewing my every story and status. I decided to remove him from my socials and delete his number. But it felt wrong doing it without saying goodbye, so just before deleting his no., I messaged to say goodbe, also called him out on ghosting and immaturity (worded in non-accusatory manner), and mentioned I liked him. Suddenly he replied with a smiley, said he was ohw home, and that he would get back to me later. But... he ghosted again.

Today I was talking with a guy friend who was sure he liked me, and we realized this might have pushed him away: (note he's 25, and I'm in my early 30s)

while we were talking about our visions of the future and the right partner, I mentioned I don't want to wait anymore. I meant I want to find the right person soon, and not settle down (I have things to take care of before that, which will take some years). But it might have come off as the latter given the context

Now this is bugging me, and I really want to say something (maybe a couple of weeks from now). But I don't know if he would still ask about it or ghost (see below)

What would you do in his place?

1. Would you still ask me about it after I told you I liked you, despite thinking I was ready to settle down? So to clear the confusion

2. Would you rather ghost to spare your own feelings because you were sure I was ready to settle down?

My (30F) guy (50M) and I have been together for close to 8 years now. He catfished me into thinking he was younger but because we mentally connected first, I overlooked the age gap. In recent years, things have taken a bad turn. I don’t know if it’s because he is dealing with the loss of his dad or learning how to be a caretaker to his 88 year old mom but he snaps very quickly lately.

We are long distance and fight a lot more than normal and because he is my first experience, I am unsure what is normal and not okay. When he gets mad or jealous, he says horrible things — he has called me things like slut, whore, stupid bitch, etc. Recently, he has been mad about how I financially support my family who he considers freeloaders. I have never asked him for any money but he doesn’t want me to spend mine on them either. He has also critiqued my weight in the past and made comments about stretch marks and said I need to look better and at my age he was very good looking.

It’s hard because I do work on myself and I’ve never commented on how he looks even though he is balding (understandable at his age and not an issue for me) and not exactly in great shape. He is just very critical. But our most current fight relating to my family was the worst:

When he threatened to send XXX pics of me to my family, I freaked out and told my sister. He is mad that I went to my sister and “threw him under the bus” because those threats were between me and him. He called me useless and said he wishes he had used and disposed of me.

I told him I’m done with him but today he is acting like nothing happened. Is this all normal? Is this how couples fight or is this emotional abuse? He laughs and says I’m being dramatic when I bring this up.

I understand the words themselves. But when a guy tells you he’s fresh out of a long term relationship and wasn’t looking for a serious relationship, but then wants to see you everyday and goes out of his way for you to bring you little gifts and do nice things for you etc, it signals to me that they do want a relationship because that’s how they’re acting. And then they express this sentiment, it’s really confusing for me because I am empathetic, but it’s also like I don’t know what to do about that. You are choosing to see me and behave like this, so I’m going with it. But you can’t say to someone I feel strongly about you so I’m pursuing you but also this isn’t what I wanted. Or if you do say it, I need to know what that means for how I should be acting around you and engaging in the relationship, esp if he isn’t pulling back and is continuing to want to see me. I don’t know how to feel about being with someone who both expresses intense feelings and is super attentive to me, but also says it’s not what he wanted.