Search Results: guy friends influence

I am a white guy but I have made a lot of minority friends and acquaintances over the years. Particularly Latino friends and few black friends. Nothing I sought out to do just to be “progressive” or something. I judge people on how they treat me, the values they hold and simply if we can just get along. Coincidentally some of those people are minorities. All good.

However will admit it really does take more initial effort to really get to know someone from a different race. That in itself is not a “racist” characteristic. But people do have different life experiences and their ethnicity/race will influence that for better or worse. It takes effort and time to understand that.

However sometimes I see my minority friends making bad decisions and/or having the wrong belief systems that I know from an outside perspective isn’t good for them. However I find myself usually erring on the side of caution when it comes to giving them “tough love” advice. I get the impression that harsh but necessary criticism can be mistaken for ignorance or even prejudice.

Also the whole BLM movement only made this astronomically worse in my opinion. Sometimes white people give harsh criticism to minorities because they ultimately want to see them do better not because we enjoy being condescending.

Anyway the trick with “tough love” is it needs to be timed right. You have to trust and know the person cares for you. The have to trust the other person understands you and your situation. They have to know the right moment to deliver it. You also have to know they take no enjoyment criticizing you.

I’ve gotten tough love in the past both from white friends and even some of my minority friends. I know the didn’t enjoy criticizing me too. They were trying to slap some sense into me when I needed it.

But why is vice versa so much tougher with my minority friends?

So we all know that minorities in Western culture, a lot of them have internalized hatred for their own race. Many minorities also have an inferiority complex to white people and believe by having a white partner and possibly children with them, they would be closer to the white community.

Indian girl celebrating because her kid turned out white

It comes as no surprise that part of the reason for this, is the media's influences on our dating choice. It's only logical that if we see a common group of people in magazines, films, adult movies etc as being the attractive ones that we will natural grow a preference for them. In addition, skin colour often affects the way in which people treat us on a daily basis.

For example,

"I think you nicely summarized all the moving forces quite nicely, thanks! I'd just add that it's soooo true how "whiteness" is perceived in at least India, where my dad (who's white, I'm mixed Indian) is very weirdly revered by strangers just due to his skin colour even though he's a bumbling idiot."

"Yeesssss, my friend is mixed white and Indian but she looks full white so is treated well but when she goes out with her brother (full biological brother) who looks brown, he is treated differently and badly. They have known this their entire lives"

With that said, a lot of women get warped by the media portrayal of white men and end up exclusively dating whites during their prime. A lot of the time these, girls look down on men of their own race and refuse to date them. For the women that were unsuccessful in landing a LTR with white guy, they often go back to men of their race and exclusively choose to date them. Often these women have PTSD and no longer wish to date white guys.

Asian girl who exclusively dated white men In her prime. Now has PTSD and only dates Asian.

QUESTION: Now, if you were a member of said girl's race, would you actual consider dating her now?