Guys, Why would a guy choose his friends over you despite the fact that he's in love with you?

[Anonymous]

We have known each other for a year. We dated twice, two months earlier last year (I ended up breaking up with him because he told me that he didn't want a serious relationship) after a six-month break-up, he came back to tell me that he was ready to commit to a serious relationship. We dated for another two months and I just broke up with him again because he's still immature and keeps on being influenced by his toxic friends to hang out and party rather than having boundaries and having a healthy relationship with me. He ended up telling me that he was still not ready for a relationship and only wanted a situationship. Why is this is happening? Why is he still choosing toxic people, a toxic lifestyle, and not ready to commit at 46 years old?

Updates

+1 y

@boggboss - we went to his friend’s pool party, he got jealous and made me pay for it. He sabotaged the party by acting like he was talking to females who were his boyfriend ex anyway no treat. I got drunk jealous and he got mad at me. He made me pay for a week. We went to watch a game last time we were together, had a great time but after when I brought up the issues. He shut down. Didn’t want to talk about it and told me he can only offer situationship right now. I broke up with him.

Updates

+1 y

@boggboss - we went to a pool party, he got jealous, made me pay for it and then I got jealous and drunk. He gave me the silent treatment and was pissed on and off for a almost a week and talked to his friends about it not me. We got together again, had fun then when I brought it up he shutdown and told me he wants a situationship. I left him. He texted me for Christmas and that’s it.

[DaveJord]

I cannot believe at 46 you are playing game like this with a man who obviously does not have the emotional maturity to date a grown woman. Obliviously you kept coming back around and showing interest, when you should not of. he is not worth your time.

[Asker]

@DaveJord - Thank you! I was married to the love of my life before I met this man for 10 years but he died tragically. Fast forward, 6 years later after a long grief, I met this guy and I think I projected my happy marriage on him that’s what happened.

[DaveJord]

Nope, you did nothing wrong... this guy is an asshole. Do not make excuses for him, that's what you are doing that is wrong. He proved to not be the right the man the first time, don't make excuse for him or yourself... that's what people like him expect and want you to do.

Shut door on this and get way from this guy, and honestly this Leopard will never change its spots.

[Anonymous]

He's indicated several times he's not up for a serious relationship and I'm not sure he'll change at his age unless midlife crisis.

Doesn't sound like a good match. You seem to be punishing one another. Be strong if he reaches out to you.

[Summeroflove]

Don’t know. But I would let him go. He isn’t your responsibility anymore.

[Pyrofox]

I think he's trying to tell you the obvious thing here that maybe he's not a good. Husband or father material. 🤧

[Asker]

Why? Are there any guys out there who never grow up, even at 46 y. o?

[LiamJHayden]

My best friends have been with me and proven their loyalty for 15 years or more, in one case since we were in preschool. A girl I met a few months ago, even if I really adore her, cannot compete with that.

[Asker]

Trying to get your point

[Asker]

Your friends aren’t probably as toxic like his. His friends don’t want him to have a girlfriend. That’s pathetic.

[Guy13]

Not bright !!

[Asker]

Who’s not bright?

[Guy13]

That guy...

[boggboss]

Clearly he likes and enjoys them more then you

[Asker]

Why? Is he gay? Does it make sense to you? Appreciate your honest feedback. Please don’t hold back.

[boggboss]

No it dont make him gay lol I also enjoy spending time with my friends I wouldn't be with a partner that gave me a ultimatum between who I can have as friends and not the same way I wouldn't keep friends who felt the need to judge my partner

[Asker]

I know he’s not gay but I don’t understand why a guy doesn’t have boundaries with his friends who are toxic and try to be controlling him and our relationship.

[boggboss]

What boundaries also u might seem them as toxic don't mean he views them the same

[Asker]

@boggboss - you said it, you would have boundaries and he doesn’t have boundaries. That’s the issue. I never gave him an ultimatum but his friends since we met have an agenda on me. They know he cares about me and they see me as a treat, so they sabotage us and he’s allowing them to do so.

[Asker]

@boggboss - can you explain more about what he doesn’t see and that I see as toxic?

[boggboss]

I can't explain that u would need to i don't know the situation what do thay do to sabotage and what boundaries is it you would like him to have

[boggboss]

Like when u say boundaries what do u like or expect

[SahuShekhar]

Took you for granted.

[Emanon25]

That’s not good.