Why do guys always choose other girls over me?

[Anonymous]

I have low self esteem because they tell me how beautiful I am, how great of a person I am, etc but they always choose someone else over me. I always end up being "just friends" with them. A lot of them Lose feelings for me after a week up to a month of being with me. I don't give up sex easily and the guys I date are willing to wait for me, but they lose feelings.

Is there something wrong with me? What am I doing wrong? I do all I can. I support the guy on whatever he wants to do, I don't take away his freedom like most girls my age do, I get a little jealous sometimes, and when we go out on a date I tend to dress to impress him.

Updates

+1 y

By "give up sex" I mean that I don't give it to them right away. I'm still a virgin. They guys say that that's good and they're proud of me because they're tired of dealing with girls who only want sex.

[MrOracle]

Look at the first 5 words you posted, for there you will find the answer to your question.

A big part of why people get into relationships is because they want to ENJOY them, meaning they want to be with someone they have fun being around. People with low self esteem are often NOT very fun to be around - they tend to sap all the energy out of a room.

I know you think that if you could just get a boyfriend, then your self-esteem would improve, and it might improve some, but the REAL answer is to improve your self-esteem on your own, FIRST, because that will greatly improve not only your chances of getting a boyfriend in the first place, but also your chances of attracting a better-quality boyfriend.

Guys often have the same problem, and the answer is the same: work on yourself FIRST, and quit worrying about what other people think of you. If you think about about all of the coolest, most attractive, most fun-to-be-around people you know, you'll realize that they all have one thing in common: they couldn't give a rat's ass about what most people think about them, and they don't try to get everyone to love them. The ironic result? Most people DO love them. Still not everyone, but they accept that they won't please everyone, and are fine with that.

Focus on making yourself a fun, awesome person to be around, be INCLUSIVE (include your friends anytime you're getting attention or things are going well for you), and LET PEOPLE SEE that you know how to have fun. Everyone wants to be around people like that, and if that's how people perceive you, then guys are going to be fighting over who gets to ask you out.

[ndzn17]

What if the low self esteem part isn't the problem? I most likely am in the same situation as this young girl, but I am pretty happy about myself..

[Asker]

I know so many girls with self esteem lower than mine yet they get all the attention from everyone. They care so much about what others think of them, they have jealousy issues, they always complain to their boyfriend about how ugly or fat they are, etc. How do they manage to get a guy to stick with them or like them?

I try to be friendly with everyone, I get told that some people are afraid to talk to me and neither me or them know why. Some guys approach me but most of them end up being just a friend to me.

[MrOracle]

ndzn17,

Are you out, having fun with guys around, where they can see you having fun? Are you inclusive? Are you letting it be known that you are attracted to certain guys?

Looking for a partner is a lot like looking for a job: chances are low that your ideal job is going to fall into your lap - you normally have to make a real, sustained effort to find a good one. UNLIKE looking for a job, though, looking for a partner is a process that can be a LOT of fun.

[MrOracle]

AU,

I can't say for sure, but I'd bet those girls are giving something to the guys that the guys value. An obvious answer would be sex, but it might be other things, like emotional support, or other things that are mostly done in private that you don't see. It could also be that they are NOT doing something that you ARE doing, that the guys don't like.

I obviously don't know you, so I can't answer the question - if I could see you in a room with guys for 20 minutes, I likely could.

[Asker]

Most of my friends are guys. I have a best friend who everyone thinks I'm dating. Well, my best friend is my ex but we no longer have feelings for each other. We barely even see each other unless it's at school or if we randomly see each other.

I usually hang out with guys whenever I do decide to hang out with people but people know I'm just friends with them.

I have very few female friends because a lot of them fuck me over. I don't really go outside unless it's to go to the store, school, or go to a friend's house to visit or sleep over there.

I let the guy know I'm interested by being honest with how I feel about them. If I'm not certain about how they may feel about me, I wait and continue to hang out with them and talk to them.

[MrOracle]

Again, I can't say for sure without seeing you interact with people, but *something* is making these guys uncomfortable with you. If I were you, I'd ask your guy friends for their opinion, and ask them to be honest and don't get mad at them if they tell you something you don't want to hear. The truth can hurt sometimes, but you can't fix or change something if you don't know what it is.

They know you, and they might know some of the guys you've tried to date, so they might be able to tell you something that's useful in solving this problem.

[Hyped_up_on_coffee]

I have no clue as I have never met you before, but you probably need to just study up and step up your game. Here check this book out its pretty long but its good and has historical examples. Also remember all is fair in love and war.

vk.com/doc-39319205_153955620

[lacelover20]

Girl I know how you feel all to well. ?