I grew up with my family having addictions that ruined their lives. All my brothers were alcoholics, addicted to weed. My uncle is still struggling with alcoholism and he's very old.
I have seen my family have many relapses and struggle greatly with overcoming their addictions.
By the time I turned 21 I was very put off by drinking alcohol and weed that I don't even like it or care about it.
I met this guy at church, we became friends and I thought he was a nice guy. He still is personality wise but I see he is struggling with using weed as a crutch for when he's facing problems in life.
I don't like that. I noticed his friends who I have also met, are into smoking weed as well. I dont know if they are the peer pressuring type. But I guess you could say I'm afraid to be friends with them. They haven't shown that they could be bad influence, not yet anyway.
But I don't see them trying to talk my church friend out of smoking weed to escape his problems.
When he passed out, they acted like it was normal or they didn't bat an eye at it. I feel concerned. I don't know him well enough to talk him out of smoking I feel it's not my place since I just met him.
But I'm wondering myself about being friends with him. I'm wondering if I'm being too judgmental because when he's not smoking he is a very nice person. I don't know if he is the type to peer pressure, right now I don't get that impression.
Him choosing to smoke is ultimately him avoiding his problems and using an unhealthy coping skill to partly deal with the hurt feels inside. Should I stick by him and try to help him or move on?
Though I don't know how I could help him and I don't want to put a strain on our friendship by forcing my beliefs down his throat.
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1Opinion
You're not acting all high and mighty what you are doing is following your instinct that's all you know you have seen what all the above what kind of damage it does to people and you don't want any part of it
You also have to remember this who you hang out with is who you become in a roundabout way all friends have influences on all friends
I have been where your at
You are you and if I was you I would be fill with self love and confidence and the wisdom and smarts for living in the world you have lived in and you have made it through it I would be so happy and proud of myself because 95% of people in your position did not make it through so remember you are who you hang out with I believe that you have love compassion in your heart I believe that you are very beautiful person in your heart and that's who you choose to be and that's why you are that person I would not just jump into a friendship with the guy I mean once you become a friend you are a friend at least that's how I am but any chance that you get to talk to the guy about everything you cannot change anybody they have to want to change themselves all you can do is let him see who you truly are and maybe that will want to change him you are a leader you are a fighter he is somewhat of a follower and needs to learn how to lead
And maybe in the little time that you are with that person if something is said the triggers a story about your brothers or uncles or your family members on something that happened why they're under the influence go ahead and tell that story
Or this is something that I believe in if he's going to church he's looking for something he wants somebody something to give him Direction if he believes in God
Maybe one day ask him how deep is belief is in God asking if he believes it is God in every single one of us I say yes and if God is in me I know that God has filled me with every beautiful feeling ever in this world because that's who he is and at the same time has filled me with every negative feeling in this world so with saying all the above means getting high takes away from a true feeling if we already have the best feelings inside of us all we need is somebody to bring them out and I believe that's what happens let's pretend for a second we become girlfriend and boyfriend and we go out and do things everyday and we make each other happy by doing new experiences everything's brand new so of course you're going to be happy you open doors for each other within to allow those emotions to be felt those feelings to be felt but those feelings only come from us within we are the only people that can give us those feelings because we are the only ones on the inside of us
So has to understand it is his choice what he feels in life because he's the only one that can give him those feelings when you add a chemical to your body it will change those type of feelings they still might be happy feelings or sad feelings but they are altered so if that's what he's looking for is happiness he can't do it by adding another peace to the equation especially if that piece to the equation Alters true feelings anyway
It's one thing if he's doing the weed to ease pain from his joints or a cancer or something like that but it's a whole different world if he's doing the weed to alter his state of thinking his mind to make him happy because he's not really going to get happy he's going to get deep into the thought of things to understand things better
I really don't think there's anything wrong with doing weed except for one thing you have to know exactly who you are you have to be that person before you can start smoking weeding you can't not know who you are and then smoke the weed to hide from your problems it just doesn't work that way
This is my belief I believe this is a test for you everybody you have loved has been through this now it's time for you to take everything that you have learned not to cure him not to change his mind but just allow him to feel what you have learned and then he gets to make a choice because he's the only one that can do that anyway I think this is a test for you there is no failing it there's no success it's a moment for you to prove who you are in this life to yourself and only yourself I think you're going to do a good job I would not put all my time and energy into it do it little by little too much information like what I just did I wrote you a book it's just way too much information lol I think you know what I mean