Search Results: good boyfriend

Me and my friend have had similar age preferences for years and that was to stick to men our age. I’m 40, she’s 39. People have been telling us for years to date men who were several years older than us. This includes our parents, aunts and uncles, each other’s parents, family friends, church members, etc. she’s even had friends our own age tell her that she should be dating older men (or so she says). I decided to give it try last spring after my same age boyfriend who had two kids and massive debt dumped me for being “too good” for him (I supported his broke ass financially), and I can say my luck changed drastically. Current guy is 55 years old and we both agreed we’re stuck with each other. At the end of summer, I had a party and invited my friend (recently heartbroken about being dumped but a guy our age for a younger girl), my boyfriend, all of his friends and all of their wives LOVED her. Every one of them and myself all thought she was perfect for a friend of theirs who was looking for someone just like her, so we agree to try to fix them up (the friend had met her once before at a charity event we were working). BF’s friend is also 55, retired, financially secure, gets a pension every month, good Christian, still works part time, has his house paid off and is looking for a woman to spoil rotten. So we pitch the idea to his friend, and the friend’s response is “that girl is a catch! She’s a nice girl with a good heart, she’s doing something with her life and she’s ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL! Yes, please fix me up with her.” I mention it to her and try to convince her to no avail, she won’t date him just because he’s 16 years older than her. I told her she needs to be dating men in their 50’s and early 60’s, not our age. She said NEVER. I told her then that she’s a stubborn asshole who’s throwing away a good guy. Opinions? I want to show this to her to make her realize this is true. Women have been marrying older men for years so it clearly works.

We had been flirt for a few months and have been dating for 2 months. A few days ago he came to me we had sex for the 3rd time his penis was down after 10 min sex and had difficulty getting hard etc. but we were fine when we left he said baby we will handle this etc. we kissed and hugged. The next day at work he was acting weird I saw him with the girl I see him a lot lately. I was upset and ignoring his attention. When I asked him you flirting with other girls in front of my eyes? he said she is married woman with a child you know that right and he looked at me I was acting werid. Normally we text each other when we leave work he would drop me off at home sometimes even though I went to the department he worked at he didn’t pay any attention I saw he had closed everywhere he was done leaving. Anyway I went out while waiting for a taxi he texted did you go out I said yes and he replied I went out just fine I just wrote but I saw him go 10 minutes before I left. He didn’t text I don’t know what he waited for. He said he was invited somewhere for Halloween that day and he said he was extremely tired did he go there I don’t know either. Anyway in morning I texted good morning honey how are you and he texted I am at work still tired etc. we talked very briefly. After couple hours he first posted a wise saying about ego on his Instagram story, then he posted a reel of a man eating pizza on a mountain at sunset, it says looking forr people to do this activity with. There is an app we use for couples, he changed his mood to ‘sad’. I don't understand what is his problem?

I know every couple’s dynamic is different & what may seem dysfunctional or not the usual for some might actually work for others. My mom and her boyfriend have been together since I was 8 (over 20 years) and almost the whole time they’ve been together, they get in verbal fights where they’re cursing each other out a lot/insulting etc. They bounce back quickly enough tho, another thing I’ll add is my mom is the breadwinner. This has always been the case, she makes the money & he takes care of everything else. He is very useful when it comes to handy things, has a ged but has a criminal record (he can’t work bc if the govt. tracks him then he’ll get caught for unpaid child support). She nitpicks at him a lot & he reacts, plus I know he can say ignorant crap that gets her heated too. It goes both ways, I know people looking in think they might sound miserable or that setup is messy but I do genuinely believe they actually love each other. Is this something that I’d want for myself? Absolutely not but I guess never say never? Is it normal for couples to get that heated with each other often? The thing is: my mom always comes across as positive and seems content. I can’t tell if it’s for the sake of her kids or maybe she’s really in a good place with this guy

So, I'm quite sensitive when it comes to touch & my boyfriend of more than 2 years is more on the other end of the spectrum. When he's sober, we arrange this well & are both happy, except for the occasional reminder for him to not break my neck when bear hugging me.

I want to clarify, he is a very kind soul, just clumsy, so it's always good intentions from him! But sometimes he accidently hurts me, which annoys me if it's too frequent & that's case when he's drunk. The more drunk/drugged, the worse it gets, as you simply loose control over your body. He tries super hard to give me my space & be veeery careful touching me then, but it's just not working. I'm kind of conditioned at this point that when he comes close to me drunk, he'll likely step on my foot/squeeze me too hard/poke his nose in my eye/get his fingers stuck in my hair, so I tense up as soon as he comes near me in that state. The worst part is that he's especially vulnerable & affectionate when drunk, but I just have to defend my space & tell him off & he can tell I'm not fond of him, which hurts him a lot.

I tried to avoid his drunk/drugged persona (he knows all of this, we communicate about it), but I also don't wanna miss all fun evenings with our friends. Moreover, it's a part of him (which he does not want to give up in this part of his life) and so I sometimes want to be with him in that state too. But it often ends in him being hurt & in a bad mood the next day, trying to recover from the rejections of the previous night and then he's the one needing his space, so I can't hug or kiss him to show him affection then, or to say sorry.

I know the most obvious solution is for me to avoid him in that state. But I wonder if anyone else made such experiences & whether you think this makes us a bad match/myself kind of a bad girlfriend, at least for him, that I can't deal with this? It hurts me a lot to hurt him and I hate myself in those moments for being so mean, I just don't know another way.