Trying to convince my friend to date older. Opinions please?

[Anonymous]

Me and my friend have had similar age preferences for years and that was to stick to men our age. I’m 40, she’s 39. People have been telling us for years to date men who were several years older than us. This includes our parents, aunts and uncles, each other’s parents, family friends, church members, etc. she’s even had friends our own age tell her that she should be dating older men (or so she says). I decided to give it try last spring after my same age boyfriend who had two kids and massive debt dumped me for being “too good” for him (I supported his broke ass financially), and I can say my luck changed drastically. Current guy is 55 years old and we both agreed we’re stuck with each other. At the end of summer, I had a party and invited my friend (recently heartbroken about being dumped but a guy our age for a younger girl), my boyfriend, all of his friends and all of their wives LOVED her. Every one of them and myself all thought she was perfect for a friend of theirs who was looking for someone just like her, so we agree to try to fix them up (the friend had met her once before at a charity event we were working). BF’s friend is also 55, retired, financially secure, gets a pension every month, good Christian, still works part time, has his house paid off and is looking for a woman to spoil rotten. So we pitch the idea to his friend, and the friend’s response is “that girl is a catch! She’s a nice girl with a good heart, she’s doing something with her life and she’s ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL! Yes, please fix me up with her.” I mention it to her and try to convince her to no avail, she won’t date him just because he’s 16 years older than her. I told her she needs to be dating men in their 50’s and early 60’s, not our age. She said NEVER. I told her then that she’s a stubborn asshole who’s throwing away a good guy. Opinions? I want to show this to her to make her realize this is true. Women have been marrying older men for years so it clearly works.

You’re right! Men that age want women her age, and they can appreciate her better. Keep trying.

You’re right and your friend is a stubborn asshole who doesn’t want to listen. Let her stay single. Focus on your own happiness.

You’re the asshole! Butt out of your friend’s dating life and let her date who she wants.

[Finchie40]

Everyone has their own preferences of what they like and don’t like , so if she isn’t interested in dating a 55 year old guy , you can’t force her to , you will just be wasting your time trying. Being attracted to someone has to come down to their own personal decision, no one else can decide that for them

[Avicenna]

It’s her life, she’s got to decide for herself what to do. Some people are funny about age gaps, although the one between 39 and 55 isn’t one I‘d even worry about for one second.

[Anonymous]

I first met my husband in the church hall after mass. I was 15 and never had any intrest in boys or sex until that moment, he was so tall and handsome and charming and I was tongue tied and over excited, my underwear was instantly wet from just shaking his hand. That night I had wet dreams. We would meet every so often at the shop or at church or at dances and fairs, i always had wet underwear after i saw him. We weren't dating, I liked him but I'd didn't know if He liked me in thst way because he was older and I am very short. Anyway we met one day at the local leisure centre as we were both swimming and using the health suite. I was in my swimsuit just out of the pool soaking and we got talking, so I look down and he has a massive erection, he got turned on looking at me. He made an excuse and went and got changed. A few days later I met him at church and he shyly apologised for what happened. I told him not to worry about it but if he liked me like that he should ask me out. We had some great dates and a year later we were married and having sex for the first time though we had problems initially because he would get so excited before he could penetrate me. Took a while for sex to get good and when I got pregnant sex got so much better.

[Asker]

I’m happy for you, and that sounds like the kind of relationship she needs (to include all the kinky stuff because she’s a rigid uptight prude on top of everything else). I tell her all the time she needs a good bending over badly. It’s such a shame though, because he’s really interested in her. I told him she’s been hurt and isn’t ready to be fixed up yet and he kept asking me “is your friend ready to go out with me yet?” Then I was honest and told him she said he’s not her type. Now he’s always asking me “have you convinced your friend to date me yet?” I’m having another party this weekend and I basically just encouraged him to go after her himself and be as persistent as he needs to be. Yes I’m being overly pushy. It’s because everyone sees how perfect they are for each other and what a wonderful love story could unfold between them except her. She’s very stubborn but so am I.

[LiamJHayden]

What works for you will not necessarily work for her, I generally date women five to ten years older than I am, sometimes older. It works for me. My friend Phil is my age and dates younger, which works for him.

[Ironic_Method]

People have their preferences, you shouldn't try to force yours onto hers.

[HelpfulWoman]

not very much of a friend are you?

[strateguy632]

3rd.