Search Results: being one of the guys

Ok so for context; I'm a guy and my best friend is a mom of two and works in the medical field. We've also known each other since we were teenagers & our friendship has been kinda on/off for years (haven't seen her in almost 3 years now but she also lives over an hour away from me). I'm about to be married to my current partner in November of next year; when discussing the invites/guests, she told me that she doesn't like her and said that she only just barely tolerates me because I wanted to invite her to attend. I can understand how she thinks that because I'm the one who reaches out most of the time but I also think that the silence on her part is a combination of a busy schedule, lack of energy, & her baby daddy being a controlling asshole... so with everything taken into consideration: who do you guys think is right, me or my partner?

Please be honest although I'd appreciate it if you weren't rude, I just want to see what the results are and hear some feedback from the female perspective. Essentially the point blank of it is I'm not even close to an appealing partner.

I live off less than $1000 a month before rent if I lost all my spare weight & trimmed my beard, I am MAYBE a 5 out of 10 in looks. I wouldn't say I'm ugly but saying I'm attractive is just pity or comforting flattery and I know it.

I struggle a lot with mental health & depression & have enough baggage from multiple traumatic events to fill a C-130. I'm ADHD, OCD & Bipolar and even on my best days it shows. I'm medicated & in therapy but there's limits in certain cases to how much you can change because a lot of it is chemical because my body chemistry is all messed up.

My brain often bounces between giving me way too much dopamine & not giving me any which makes it hard to keep my emotions stable. Obviously its stressful not just for me but the people who have to see it & I have problems with my speech patterns being too loud on accident even when I try not to and aware of it. I also have a robbery felony from a guy I was lied to about him being an attempted rapist. "Vigilante justice situation but she lied."

The one thing going for me is I try to be a good person & make sure to focus on my partner to make sure I meet their emotional needs not just their physical ones. In the past when I've attempted dating, I've done things like bring flowers made picnic baskets personally to go on a lunch date in the park etc. There have been times where I listened to woman cry comforting them 6 days a week from 10PM-3AM on days I was busy running off 2-4 hours of sleep for literal months.

Basically, I'm average or bellow in every way except for the fact I'll do everything I possibly can to be the best partner I can, stand up for them & make sure they feel truly loved & valued. That's it. That's what I bring to the table. Love and respect.