Search Results: something wrong with me

Do you most bullies are narcissists? Either that or have some narcissistic traits from a young age?

I think so because after a certain age, if you really find pleasure watching someone having a miserable time and see nothing wrong with it, there is something wrong with the person mindset? I think they're too far gone by then.

It doesn't take 10-20 years later to finally realize what you did was wrong, lol. Not buying it.

I have been with my husband for 7 years and we have a 1 year old daughter together. I also have a 9yo son from my previous relationship and my husband has adopted him. His family has always been toxic but it's always been in a "I feed off drama" way and nothing more. However, they really upped it last year. Basically my sister in laws husband hit my 9yo son in the back of the head out of anger (my son was playing tag with his cousin and ran inside and the door slammed behind him). It was a hard hit. Cops were called and the police did nothing because there was no witnesses outside of me and they called it a "he said she said" thing and stated that we needed to work through our own family conflict. They claimed my son wasn't a reliable witness because he wouldn't speak to them (he's incredibly shy, has ASD and was just assaulted by a grown ass man so he was already scared - he just kept hiding behind me saying "mum can you just tell them" and they took this as me making shit up and leading my son to say something that wasn't true).

When my sister in law found out what happened she was initially on our side and scolded her husband. But he threatened to divorce her, so she did a 180° and started claiming her husband did nothing wrong and that he only hit my son because my kid has been repeatedly told not to slam doors and didn't listen so her husband had an "impulse reaction" and claimed "no harm, no foul" because my son was fine. So, I cut all contact and when our daughter was born we refused to let her anywhere near her despite her being extremely excited for the baby and having made all these customized items for her. She was destroyed over it but oh well. Don't defend a child abuser.

Well, here it is a year later and my mother in law brought it up randomly and stated "I understand completely why he hit your son." So I told her to leave and she wasn't welcome back here around my children. Now my husband is upset because he wants his mother around.

So I’ve had an online friend for a few years and he started wishing me a happy birthday every year after we got to know each other a little better. There were times where he would & I wouldn’t, when that were the case, he’d follow up a few days or maybe a week after saying I forgot it was his birthday (more subtly). Last year, he wished me a happy belated & this year I decided to also be more laid back. I just asked him if he had a good birthday maybe a day or two after it actually happened, I sent him that message after he followed up with me about something else. He leaves me on read yet continues to view my IG stories.

This has always been the case, he’s always one of the first to see my stories but may go weeks without msging me. A few years back, he’d literally go weeks without replying but will be the first person to see my stories or comment. But when I’d take long to get back to him, he’d *jokingly* say that I’m ignoring him or ask if I’m busy. Honestly I don’t feel like I did anything wrong so I don’t see the need to reach out, it just seems hypocritical. You can be busy but I can’t? He hasn’t made a comment like that in years & his response time has gotten better. I have a tendency to delete people when my frustration has built up, I don’t know if it’s an avoidant personality style trait.

I just…couldn’t bring myself to confront him and ask if he was upset with me. I just felt apathetic yet hopeless in a way, even though I had total control. It’s been over 5 months since I heard from him and we’ve never gone that long without talking, so I took a hint and removed him (unfollowed him/he’s no longer able to follow me) from my IG. He’s still on FB, gaming app & linked in but those platforms are a lot less personal. Now I officially have no “friends” and at 30F I should be A LOT more upset but it’s more worrying about how I’m perceived. Is avoidant attachment the cause? Or excuses and I’m just a shitty friend?