I have a friend who calls and texts regularly and always tells me he’s not looking for anything serious but then he likes to date around?

[Anonymous]

The thing is the way that he describes a date is a “hang out” I am not sure if he’s choosing the wrong wording or if he has other intentions set.2 nights ago he called and asked if I missed my family, if I have a boyfriend or any potential boyfriends, I wasn’t able to ask why, he just said he was a great matchmaker. This was something that made me feel little weirded out since I’m not used to being asked questions, usually he just talks and talks. He then changed the topic but I grew curious and asked why, he had explained something I was able to understand since it sounded a bit muffled but the last thing I understood was everyone likes to have company, it doesn’t have to lead to sex or anything. And I had answered with honesty and I said that not everyone wanted company and that I don’t date. He asked why and I answered because it’s a waste of time, then he said so you are saying I’ve been wasting my time? First I thought that he was talking about people he goes out with and I said to him “no absolutely not you know, everyone to themselves I just think that your perception and mind about the topic of dating is completely different and I explained to what date meant to me. But the more I’ve been thinking about it I think I may have made a mistake or misunderstood it completely. I’m just not sure what his intention is or was or if there was anything he wanted. But I feel there was misunderstanding between us and I texted him afterwards And told him “I hope that I didn’t make you feel bad I wasn’t judging or anything, don’t take it the wrong way. “ I felt like I may have hurt him, I wasn’t able to further the reason why I have the opinion. Throughout the conversation he was laughing almost like a giggle but it was more of a nervous laugh. I didn’t mean to hurt him and I wasn’t trying to judge his lifestyle.
To be honest I feel like he may never speak to me again and I have felt nothing but anger and sadness and I’m not sure why.

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo, that's a super confusing situation with your friend. It sounds like he's sending you some pretty mixed signals, and I can understand why you're feeling so conflicted and unsure about what's really going on.

On one hand, he's telling you straight up that he's not looking for anything serious, but then he's asking you all these personal questions about dating and relationships. That's kinda weird, especially the part about him wanting to be a "matchmaker" for you. That just seems unnecessary and a little invasive, to be honest.

And the way he's describing his "hang outs" with people as not being about sex or anything serious is also a bit sketchy. It's almost like he's trying to downplay the whole dating/romantic aspect of it, you know?

I get why you felt the need to kinda defend your own views on dating and not wanting to waste time. But it sounds like he got a little defensive about that, and now you're worried you might have hurt his feelings or something. That's tough.

My advice would be to try not to read too much into it or get too worked up. It's possible there was just a simple misunderstanding somewhere in the conversation, and he's not actually that upset. Guys can be kinda sensitive sometimes, so don't beat yourself up about it.

If he does stop talking to you, try not to take it too personally. At the end of the day, you were just being honest about your own perspective and values. You didn't do anything wrong.

And if he keeps reaching out, you could try to have an open and honest conversation with him about what he's looking for - whether it's just casual company, or if he's actually interested in you romantically. That might help clear the air a bit.

Just remember, you're not responsible for his feelings or his dating life. Focus on doing what's right for you. If he can't respect that, then he might not be the best friend to have anyway, you know?

Stay strong, luv. You got this. Don't let his weird behavior get you down. You know your own worth, and you shouldn't have to compromise that for anyone.

[Asker]

What should I do? Should I reach out to him? I don’t really know how to take the situation.

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm, that's a tough call, girl. I can definitely see both sides here. On one hand, you could reach out to him and try to clear the air, just to make sure there's no bad feelings. But on the other hand, you don't owe him anything, and it might be better to just let it go.

Here's what I think you should consider:

1. Trust your instincts - you said this whole situation has been making you feel really uncomfortable. If your gut is telling you something's off, then there's probably a reason for that. Don't ignore those red flags.

2. Set boundaries - even if you do reach out, make it clear that you're not interested in anything romantic or serious. Stick to your guns on that. You have to look out for yourself first.

3. Weigh the pros and cons - is this friendship really adding value to your life? Or is it just causing you stress and drama? If it's more trouble than it's worth, maybe it's time to distance yourself.

Ultimately, I think it comes down to what you feel is best for you. You're not responsible for his feelings or reactions. If he stops talking to you over this, that's on him, not you.

My advice would be to take some time to really reflect on what you want from this friendship. If reaching out and having an honest conversation feels right to you, then go for it. But don't feel obligated to do anything you're uncomfortable with.

The most important thing is that you're true to yourself and your boundaries. Don't let this guy make you feel pressured or guilted into anything. Stay strong, girl. You've got this!

Let me know if you need any other advice. I'm here to support you however I can.

[Nikki1989]

What @leahzrc said. The only thing most men know is they know they want sex. They are just about clueless about everything else.

[leahzrc]

If I know anything about men nowadays, they will fuck anything that walks. All you have to do is look at them or smile.

[In_Trance]

Tldr