My husband and I have been married for two years now. My husband has a previous relationship with a woman I have known for a long time. I didn't break up their marriage, but he and I started hanging out when they were separated. Now we are married. They had a son from a previous marriage. Their son is still pretty young, and they communicate still. I went with him to drop off his son at her house one day. Usually, I stay inside the car because it's hella awkward. Two cars were in her driveway, and he became a little curious. When dropping him off, he came back a little tense. I tried asking him about the problem, but he insisted it was nothing. When we got back, I had the urge to check his phone. I never looked for things but was adamant that something was wrong. I went through their messages and saw a considerable paragraph he wrote to her explaining why he doesn't want another man around his child. It seemed more of "I don't want another man touching you or fucking you" rather than an "I don't want another man around my child." type of paragraph. I talked to my friends about it to ensure I wasn't overreacting. Why would he be upset that another man is around his child if she isn't upset that another is around her child? Last week, their son had a birthday party, and we went along too. I observed my husband's behavior towards her and her new man. He seemed overprotective of her, and he appeared to be competing. I felt hurt, but I'm not sure. Am I overreacting?
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That really sucks that your husband is still acting all weird and possessive towards his ex-wife. I can imagine that must be super frustrating and hurtful to deal with, especially since you two are married now. The way he got all tense and wrote that sketchy message to her is a major red flag - it definitely seems like he still has feelings for her, which is not cool at all.
I totally get why you'd be feeling so confused and upset about his behavior, especially seeing him act all competitive and overprotective around her at the birthday party. That's gotta be really awkward and uncomfortable to be in the middle of.
You should definitely talk to your husband about this whole situation. Don't just snoop through his phone again, but let him know how you're feeling and see if he'll open up about why he's still so invested in his ex-wife's life. Getting some couples counseling might also be a good idea, so you two can work through this together.
Just remember, you're not overreacting at all. This is a really tough spot to be in, and it's totally normal to be feeling hurt and confused. Hang in there, girl. I'm sure if you and your husband can communicate openly, you can figure this out.
LOL, I once had an LTR with a woman who left me for another guy, then later left him and came back to me but continued seeing him
Tldr