Search Results: i want him to be honest with me

No I’m not a sociopath. In fact I am sometimes too empathetic for people.

Anyway I have known a few in my life (even regrettably dated one in the past). I can’t change their nature but just accept the sad fact they can never be trusted. Sociopaths will only value people to the point they get value out of them. This can be sneaky because their “value” can mean different things. It can be looks, money, sex , social optics, etc. Even the ones who are heavily involved in “social justice” initiatives just want the social kudos that come along with it vs. really caring about the people they are supposedly fighting for. Sociopaths see life as a chessboard.

They get paranoid about being “found out” because when they know when that happens people don’t trust them. They need to be trusted to gain their own ends. So they are good at acting and behaving seemingly genuine. But when no one’s looking they will be the last to inconvenience themselves to help someone else who can’t repay them. That’s the acid test of identifying a sociopath; how do they treat people who can’t benefit them.

With all that said a part of me can’t help a bit envy for these people at times. They seem to always get what they want. Sociopathic men usually do (at least initially) very well romantically with women compared to more empathetic men.

It’s because they come off as confident and non chalant because they aren’t worried about hurting a woman’s feelings. They understand the concept of challenge and good at being manipulative. But they put on acts like they care to convince them otherwise. And of course they become the nasty heart break stories women complain about. Then some of these hurt women generalize ALL men for these asshole’s bs.

But on the flip side it must be a heavy burden knowing that you can never really be trusted and must always cover your ass.

I met this girl start of last year at work (ages 21, 22). We immediately connected, and became friends. A month ish later we ended up hooking up, naturally transitioned to a situationship.

we used to hang out after work, do *ahem* stuff, play Fortnite, deep talk, and fell asleep cuddling tightly. She said didn’t want commitment, that she had fears. said she does like me and would’ve pursued something with me if it wasn’t for where she was in life right now.

Life happened, and we stopped, tho we kept being friends. Few months later I invite her to hang out and the next day, she tells me tbh she wants to resume (the casual stuff) and that she feels a type of something but was too shy to reinitiate. So we did.

After that didn’t see her for a few weeks cos went to see family in Italy. when I came back we hung out and she mentioned that our mutual friend/coworker mentioned to her I still had feelings for my ex… tbh back then time I was going through a confusing time. I was honest and admitted I still had feelings for my ex and that we met up right after I came back. She seemed uncomfortable, said go she’s glad for me for me but later on she said it felt weird. Few days after that she was fine, but then she stopped replying to my messages completely. Heard from the coworker that snitched that she was going through a rough time.

Heard she had her yearly visit to her hometown around then. she came back to work around January this year. she seemed open and cold at the same time. When our shift ended the same time I said I went to get food and she followed me. Convo was pretty good, but when I suggested getting ice cream she said “I’m not just gonna go wherever you go”. ? she's still replying to my messages in good time and isn’t dry. It’s been a while since then and it’s all still similar.

I guess I liked her more than I thought, and I feel really bad how all this unfolded. I still care about her a lot.

Do you think I hurt her and she’s salty, and that I played her?

do most people have some emotional issue either diagnostically or when challenged, inconsistent and lacking bodily integrity?

Very few to none are "flawless" emotionally... pure of heart, consistent, reliable, honest, faultless.

Thus life involves dealing with your own imperfections and working on what you want, and accepting others imperfections and helping them, if they wish.