We like each other, but he is healing now from his previous relationships. What can I do to slow down the pace of dating and make it effective?

[Anonymous]

Hey, I really like this guy, he does too, we had a genuinely good time. He is honest and open, yet he does struggle time to time with depression though he is not looking for professional help, or my help; he wants to do himself. We have been dating for 2 months. We both went through breakups 8 months ago so I understand him, yet I moved on (cause I focused on myself and did not date), and he avoided healing and we met when he was still healing.

We both think we can work out, but in a slower pace. I don't mind if it lasts for a year or something, we prefer to not call it relationship yet, but friendship (I initiated this though we both know we are more, and he opposed first at first but told me we can call us friends if it makes me feel safer and better). I do feel hurt by some stuff, but it's me. What can I do to make it work? Daily or in general?

I might struggle with the idea that I want to make him feel better, but he is more isolated when he is particularly healing. This is why I preferred to distance, but I don't know how effective friendship is, it does not sound honest.

[Oliverlogan263]

Here are some suggestions for taking things slowly while still nurturing your connection:

- Focus on quality time together doing fun, low-pressure activities you both enjoy. Going for walks, cooking a meal, watching a show - experiences where you can connect without stressing about labels.

- Communication is key. Check in regularly about how you're both feeling and what you need from each other. Be honest but also good listeners.

- Take things one date at a time instead of planning too far ahead. Live in the present so there's less pressure.

- Compliment and encourage each other, but save deep talks and vulnerability for when he seems ready. Boost his confidence slowly.

- Spend time apart too so you're not each other's only source of happiness. Maintain your individual lives and friend groups.

- Be patient. Healing takes time. As long as he's making an effort, stick by him. But set boundaries if his actions don't match up.

- Take pressure off by focusing on listening without fixing. Just let him vent when down without trying to solve everything for him.

Hope this gives you some tactics to support each other where you're both at. With care, honesty and taking it day by day, I think you can really build something great!

[Drew-1990]

I say keep going at it slow you are probably helping him by just being there. I do think he needs someone to open up to and let help him, you can't heal on your own fully. It is a tough spot cause you don't want to push too much but you can't let him push you away either.

[laly520]

just give him time n space

but if it will take him one year or more then ig that will put u guys flame down